1/10/2020

Sundries for the weekend


  • We drove up to the hospital to collect my sister and take her home today. All in all just about a 4 hour round trip. I don't mind doing it and it's good that she's home. (She's more elated by that than anyone else, I'm sure.)
  • Watched A Quiet Place (the? I'm not sure if it's The or A. Regardless, it's the one with Jim from The Office in it - he wrote the movie I believe.) It was riiiight on the edge of the level of suspense/horror I can handle. Hubby enjoyed it.
  • Yes, it's PG-13. Yes, I'm that wussy. I accept this about myself.
  • I feel like there were more thoughts in my head when I started this post, but apparently they all went off on vacation and now I'm left with this pathetically short list. Ah well.

1/08/2020

A little bit of snow

We generally don't take off snow days around here. The reality is, our school day is short enough on any given morning that it's not an issue to do school AND play in the snow. Besides, our travel is not impacted by the weather barring something weird causing ice on the stairs.

But today, because life is overwhelming, we went ahead and took the day.

I read a book for most of the day while the boys played in and out and in and out. There were brief interruptions for hot cocoa fixing and other snacks, but in general? It was a glorious rest day.

Tomorrow we really for sure need to get back to it.

Really and for sure.

1/05/2020

On Getting Back to Normal

We undecked the halls today.

Hubs wanted to start yesterday, but he mentioned the possibility of starting a little while waiting for it to be time to head off to laser tag for the elder boy's birthday party and kiddo looked at his dad and said, "Really? On my birthday?"

So we let it slide.

Sort of. Hubs did actually go out and unplug most of the outside lights and pack up a few of the low hanging fruit while eldest was faffing around waking up.

Regardless, we finished it all today and everything is neatly packed back up and stored until next year. It's nice to have my house back. Especially since this was one of the least Christmassy Christmases I've lived through. I really don't mind seeing the back side of it.

SO tomorrow we return to normal. Or the new normal - as tomorrow also includes the speech therapy eval for youngest. So we'll be adding OT and ST back into our week (yaaaaay) as well as keeping up with vision therapy and...just ugh. I'm also going round and round about finding a psychiatrist and looking into medication for the boy because his ADHD is bad enough I wonder if he would prefer we treated it that way. (I mean right now he doesn't know any different, but he does know that he struggles in settings that are beyond just the family and that other kids don't really like him, and if medication would help him to the point that he could thrive in those settings then...I don't see the down side? But more doctors and yadda yadda and blergh. I have a few more natural type things I want to try and I guess I'll give them a go before we bite that bullet.)

When in doubt: punt.

But school resumes. And church stuff. And cleaning rotations. And normal.

And it seems much more reasonable to be depressed and overwhelmed in the middle of normal than it does when your house is covered head to toe with twinkling lights and smiling nutcrackers and nativity scenes everywhere you turn.

Although the nativity stays out (one of them at least).

My sister remains in ICU at least through tomorrow. No surgery as yet, they're hoping the heparin will handle it. I guess we'll see what we see.

1/04/2020

Whelp, we made it 3 days

Today is eldest's 12th birthday.

Rather than the rather weepy, tempus fugit filled eloquence I was planning to put up here (because OH MY WORD HOW DID HE GET TO BE 12???), I spent the bulk of the day at the hospital with my sister.

Who has massive pulmonary embolisms.

The doctors are throwing around words like "clot load" and "extreme" and other generally unpleasant terms when one is talking about things that restrict blood flow to the lungs and, oh yes, are causing her heart to malfunction.

Good times, good times.

They were waiting the bulk of the time I was there (from roughly noon until 5:30) for the dude who does echos to come and echo her legs. He finally showed up while I was driving home and there are multiple DVTs as well. (That's deep vein thromboses for the uninitiated.)

Because of course she does.

So at this point, they're keeping her through Monday and are waiting to see what the heparin can do. They've been talking all day about thrombolysis but are going to take the wait and see approach. If her lower blood pressure number continues to drop, they'll do it, but for now it's holding at 62.

2020 is officially on notice.

12/31/2019

Happy New Year

I didn't hate 2019. It wasn't the best year of my life. It's unlikely it was the worst.


I can't say I'm staring down 2020 with grand expectations for amazing things.

I am looking ahead with the comforting knowledge that, come what may, God will be with me.

12/28/2019

Thoughts on the Rise of Skywalker - probably spoilery

I went to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker last night. My thoughts below are likely spoilery, so if you don't care for that, then look away.

Generically, I loved it.

Less generically, I think it was everything the last Star Wars movie needed to be. It created a circle -- and in fact there were a few moments throughout the film that I thought, "This is a lot like episode 4. You have new Han (Poe), new Luke (Fin), and new Leia (Rey). You have old Chewie, R2D2, and C3P0. And so your intrepid group of friends must defeat the dark side and make a way for the Jedi to triumph.

But it's not simply a retelling of any of the other movies. There are twists.

And laugh if you want, I even think having Palpatine return is a decent twist. Some have said it's the sign of not knowing what to do with the storyline, but if that's the case, then all writers should have this problem, because I think it was just what we needed. We didn't need a new villain. We had Snoke and he was still basically the same anyway, so why not go back and see where Palpatine's plot from the very beginning -- as in The Phantom Menace beginning (as much as it pains me, this last movie made those 3 necessary. Which I mean, great. But at the same time, I know it means my kids are going to start watching them again and...yuk.) -- was headed and is ultimately thwarted.

Kylo Ren is, hands down, my favorite character arc in these final three movies. It was exactly what it needed to be as well and is really the first time (at least that's immediately coming to mind) that a Star Wars movie had true redemption. People have always either been dark side or light side and that was kind of it. And okay, sure Darth Vader/Annakin ended up sort of that way, but his always felt more like a deathbed conversion than true redemption. Kylo/Ben was headed toward a life on the right side of things -- he didn't necessarily know he was going to die, he made the change with the intention of living and doing right, not as a last ditch effort to save his soul.

I am mad that they killed him. I get the great sacrifice blah blah blah. But dang it, this romantic needed Kylo and Rey to get their happily ever after. If anyone EVER earned it, it was the two of them.

Of course, if they'd done that, future writers would probably have screwed it up like they did Han/Leia. So maybe it's for the best.

I think some people were surprised by Palpatine being part of the end, but I (and others I know) have been speculating that Rey was, in fact, a Palpatine since she came on the scene. So I think it was natural to just go there. And to have the irony of the Skywalker (Ren) being the Sith and the Palpatine (Rey) the Jedi. And then, of course, to have the two of them unite on the side of light.

All in all, I loved it. Other than not killing off Ben, I honestly wouldn't change a thing. And I feel like anyone who's bitching and moaning about it being terrible needs to get over themself and remember that all of the Star Wars movies -- like literally ALL of them -- led up to this playing out the way it did. To want something else is akin to having Frodo get to Mount Doom and change his mind and join Sauron.

12/23/2019

Merry Christmas

I've been managing to get through the various holiday prep by virtue of putting one foot in front of the other. But it's simply rote activity and will rather than any semblance of Christmas spirit.

We got gifts wrapped this evening. And the food is purchased and stuck in the fridge. So we're ready, ish. Which is good because tomorrow is the usual waffles and vanilla sauce with my dad and sister. Assuming she's well enough to come, which is iffy.

She's very close to the end of her radiation (chemo finished last week) - I believe her final treatment is January 8. But she's also very close to the end of her ability to keep on going.

Dad is struggling. With missing mom. With my sister's cancer. With...just everything.

Somehow in here, I got nominated to be the one who holds it together and bolsters the ones who are falling apart.

I don't think I have it in me.

If the whole family has a breakdown, do we get a group rate at the treatment center?

And yet. The clock keeps ticking forward and so must I.

I'll get through it. And somewhere in the midst, I'll hopefully find the ability to smile and wish everyone merry, and spend a few minutes contemplating the scandalous reality that God came to earth and took on flesh because He loved me.