Driving Me Crazy

Dear Silly People on MY Road,

Yes, you read that right. MY road. Ok fine, the state owns it...but really, I spend so much time on it, it really ought to be mine. Oh alright, you spend time on it too...but actually that gets to part of my point. You know where the lane ends? Yeah, you know where I mean. That's right - the place where we go from four lanes to three...and have since time began? That's right - that's the place. Well, I have a tip for you - it's still going to end there today. And tomorrow. And you will still need to merge over at least one lane. I promise you, the lane did not grow overnight. So there's no longer a need for you to zip along past us who are moving slightly slower in a lane that does get where we're going and then come to a dead stop (irritating the few people from out of town who DON'T know the lane is ending...even though they have a pretty yellow sign with the international symbol for "Merge now, moron" on it posted very clearly by the side of the road, but that's beside the point) and then demand that the rest of us stop to let you in simply because you refuse to plan ahead.

Now, now - I do know what that international symbol stands for...got two of those?

Ok. Truckers. Yeah, that's right, you all who are behind the wheel of huge killing machines. I was right where I am now when you decided you had to pull out into that lane that's ending that we just discussed to try and get one car length ahead. All I want to know is, did it make you feel better?

Oh, and the bridge? The one we go over every day? It really is ok to go over it at speed. You don't have to slow down. See, and if you don't slow down, then no one else has to slow down, and thus we wouldn't have that nice accordion ripple all the way back five miles. It's just a bridge. I promise you, you're not missing anything. It's not a particularly pretty vista.

Just one more thing, and it's only two words: Sun Glasses. Get some. Wear them. 'Nough said.

Thanks for your consideration.