Listless in LaLaLand

There is an invisible portal around the company I work in -- I think it's actually around the corporate entity itself, and not the physical building because were we to move offices, I think the portal would come along. This portal transports you to another world. A world where black is pretty much any color the CEO says it should be and we already do everything anyone in the entire world might need, thus we should clearly be their vendor of choice - becuase hey, we've put the kabosh on any need for custom development.

We are, if you read our company literature, a products-based company. They then list all our products. Have worked here for now almost 8 months I can say without a doubt that I have not seen any of these products. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that I'm not sure that some of the products are feasible in any way other than theoretical. And customers tend to get cranky when you want actual money for theoretical products.

And yet, here I sit with a binder full of a ginormous RFP and my proposal girl cape fluttering behind me once more (even thought Edna recommends against capes - at this point, being sucked into a jet engine might be the better result of my day's work). And I am unmotivated. I seriously think I'd be better off recording an infomercial for toe jam dissolver, because there's at least a remote possibility someone would want that. And if you act now, we'll throw in this beautiful set of Ginsu knives for free! How much would you pay for this fabulous set in department stores? $199? $299? If you act now, it can all be yours for the low, low price of $9.99.

Which is way more than what most of our other "products" are worth.