A Conversation With Tim (via GMail Chat)

The following events are based on a true story that occurred yesterday.

Me: Hi. Really wigged out here.
Tim: Hi. How come?
Me: There's a snake in our garden.
Tim: Front? Back?
Me: Front. Did I mention wigged out?
Tim: Garden snake?
Me: I didn't ask. I WIGGED OUT. It's a SNAKE.
Tim: Color? Size?
Me: Black. SNAKE sized. Maybe a black snake. Like I said, I didn't ask. Did I mention I'm wigged out? Really wigged out? Really really really WIGGED OUT? I might be freaking slightly too. Jury's still out.
Tim: ...
Me: It's not a boa constrictor, I'm pretty sure. Or a rattle snake. That's all I can rule out. Well, ok, probably not an anaconda. I don't think they live up here.
Tim: ...
Me: Here is where you make soothing noises and tell me it'll be ok.
Tim: It's just a snake. Probably harmless.
Me: ....
Tim: I gotta go.
Me: Ok...well I'll see you later. Unless the SNAKE eats me. Then, of course, you'll know what the problem was.

I know that many of you will side with Tim on the unimportance of the previous events. However....I think it's time to move.