5/05/2009

I Think I'm From Pluto

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I really think I must be from some planet labeled "other." The reason de jour for this thought is brought to you courtesy of some of Tim's (and my) friends from college. I call them Tim's friends because they were, initially, his friends and when we started hanging out and then dating they became my friends, too. They are, as 99% of my friends throughout my life have been, male.

Anyway, one of the group has suggested a "manly man" camping trip in the summer. (I don't even know if Tim has read this suggestion yet he's been so crazy busy with work and I want to state for the record right now that I am ok with him deciding it's something he'd like to do.) This makes me scratch my head just a tad. Maybe it's the way the inital, "Hey, does this sound fun?" invite was phrased as the initiator put it along the lines of feeling "too domesticated". Now, I'll admit that of this group, this guy and I really don't get along. Pretty much ever. We just don't get one another - and so I try to read anything he says with the entire Morton's factory in mind. But seriously...too domesticated? If I was his wife (and I'm not...for these small blessings may we be ever grateful!) I would be a little put off by that phrasing. Still - I suspect that he was trying to be funny. So, ha!

I love to camp. Tim and I often camp together. We haven't been with the kiddo yet, but that's juts because of scheduling issues, not anything to do with thinking that you can't take a baby camping. (We went with friends in SC when their youngest at the time was 3 months old. Babies are actually pretty resilient campers.) So I saw camping and envisioned a big family get together for all our families. Then the manly man only comment was made. So ok, men only. But why?

One of my scant few female friends often says that she understands that men need their man time. Time when they can fart and scratch and not have to worry about delicate sensibilities, I guess. I don't really get this...I mean, I have ample evidence that Tim feels perfectly at home doing those activities when I'm around. Sometimes he even leaves the seat up and I just roll my eyes and flip it back down. I'm fairly certain that delicate sensibilities are in short supply around here, but ok. If we're talking about a few hours for poker, guys only, then you know, whatever.

Maybe my initial eye rolling at the camping thing stems from the fact that if Tim is going to take vacation, I'd really like to spend time with him during those days off work. Call me nutty, but one of the major benefits of being married to him is spending time together. And in fact, I enjoy spending time with him above any other person on the planet - reference, again, the decision to marry. So ok, we push the selfish aside and maybe the other thing is that I can't fathom spending a week with just my "girlfriends" and having it be anything other than something on the spectrum from awkward to miserable.

First, as stated before, I really don't have that many "girlfriends". And of those that I do have, well, I'd say probably all but one would be just as happy doing stuff as couples/families than just "us girls". Beyond that, all the common definitions of "girl time" just make me want to puke. Why do guys get to camp and play poker but girls have to do lame things like get a manicure or have book discussions? I could possibly see visiting some historic houses or something as a group of girls, except that we'd have to go back later because Tim enjoys doing those things too!

Then you can throw in the idea that if I, for whatever bizzaro reason, wanted to hare off with the girlfriends for a week and leave Tim and the kiddo at home...Tim would have to take off work for me to do it. And as I've already said, if he's going to take off work, well, I want to be there so we can all play.

Finally, I really don't enjoy being home with the kiddo alone 24/7. Tim travels enough for business that I know this is hard - super dooper hard. The couple of hours he's home between work and bedtime make all the difference for me. So while sure, he has to travel for business, I get it and suck it up. But I just grumble inwardly at the thought of him taking off to vacation on his own. Especially when he's off doing something I'd enjoy doing with him.

It seems to me that the feeling amongst our friends is that the female halves of these respective relationships should (and do) have no problem with the idea of the manly man camping trip. And it's not that I have a problem with it, per se...I just don't get it. What's wrong with me?

5 comments:

Library girl said...

I can't understand wanting to the girly thing either if it's any consolation! I've always thought that bachelor's nights are much more exciting in nature lol.

beth said...

You can be from Pluto with me. :) Give me a bachelor party any day over a baby shower!

Jen said...

I'm with you, too. I'd much rather hang with the guys. But I'll skip the camping, thanks. I'm way too girly for that. =)

Lynellen said...

I'm not too girly for camping... I just think that camping is too primitive for ANY gender.

When the EMP kills everything and the world regresses to forced camping, then i'll put up with it, but I'm not going to volunteer until then.

Rodmonster said...

Nothing is wrong with you - Cat loves camping and fishing and hiking and such and she went to an all girls school...
Hey - we do need to figure that out. We were talking about the camping thing soon anyway with yall. Cat has suggested since we will have a new baba and Josh is still kinda baba - that we get a cabin the first time.
Thinking over the summer still.
Yall still up for it?