I Am The Law

Lately I've been understanding a little bit more why some folks choose to have two working parents (when situations are such that they have the option otherwise - I realize sometimes it's a necessity thing, not a choice) rather than having one stay home. Staying home is hard. It's in the trenches constantly. Sure, there are awesome parts of every single day. And there are so many benefits - I'm not saying I'd ever choose differently. But gosh I get tired of having to be the primary consistent disciplinarian.

I'm home. So I get the constant limit testing. And I get to deal with the (sometimes more than other times) timeouts. And the "No!" and the two-year-old defiance. And it's hard. And it's harder on those hard days to watch daddy get home and see the transformation of the sullen, sulky face that's just had it's will thwarted yet again morph into sheer and utter joy (and on those hard days, I haven't had that joy directed at me much) at the sight of daddy. The good parent. The fun parent. The one who doesn't have days where all that gets said is "No."

Which is not to say that Tim doesn't discipline. He does! But he doesn't have nearly as much opportunity as I do. And there are days when I think that had I chosen to keep working, I could have abdicated that role to someone else and shared in the delight of being the fun parent.

But then I get a tearfully remorseful kiddo crawling up in my lap as he gets out of timeout wanting to snuggle for a minute and I remember how much I utterly despised working...frankly, my worst day as the parent of a toddler is still hands down better than the best day at work. And I realize that I've got it good...even though really, some days are just hard. Harder than I think I realized they would be.


Jen said...

I have a new appreciation for stay at home parents when I get the kids on my own for a long stretch. I don't know how you keep your sanity. ;-)

And I admire you all greatly. It's much harder work to parent all day long than it is to go to a job away from home.

beth said...

I don't know that it's harder...it's different and also hard. But I can only imagine how hard it is to work, especially if you'd rather be home. Just a whole other set of hards, most likely.