10/11/2010

Just Call Me Sisyphus

Dear Advisor-of-Mine,

Off the top of your head, what's the likelihood (percentage-wise) that I'll actually be finished by the end of the spring term?

That's the current mental stopping point I have and if I need to adjust it, I need to start working on that now - though I'm just not sure I have the mental energy to give much more than another term. This has been the most incredibly demoralizing experience of my life and really right now the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I can't stand to quit once I've started something.

The way things have been going - realistically the only thing I'm going to be able to get accomplished this term is an approved proposal and, maybe, IRB approval, if I can get the proposal approved prior to the 11/15 IRB meeting. With less than a month left in the term at that point, actually starting interviews seems unlikely. So is it remotely possible that I can do the study and write it up adequately between January and the end of April? It's not, is it?

At what point do I acknowledge that this has been an incredible waste of my time, energy, and resources and just call it a day? Add on to the pile of misery the fact that I don't know that I can face telling all the people that I've been telling May '09, December '09, May '10, and now, May '11 that really it's going to be December '11 or, God help me, May '12. I mean honestly. You can only change that so many times before you come off as a miserable failure and a fool. And I think I passed that two deadline changes ago.

I really don't think I can do it. I just don't.

Sincerely,
Someone who, if she had access to a time machine, would go back in time and save her money.

No comments: