11/19/2010

The Unending Patience of the Father

Yesterday morning was one of the more trying ones around here. I'd had insomnia Wednesday night, sparked off by the doodle waking up shrieking as if he was being murdered in his bed. Adrenaline pumping, I jumped out of bed and rammed into Tim who beat me to the door by about a half a second. He soothed and rocked and put the kiddo back to sleep while I lay in bed trying to calm my heart down. I was nowhere near relaxed again when Tim started snoring happily away, once more oblivious to the world. I tossed and turned, getting more and more frustrated, and finally ended up asleep on the couch some 4 hours later. Just two short hours before the kiddo greeted the day as if nothing had ever been wrong. My patience was at an all-time low. The kiddo's curiosity was at an all-time high.

He wanted to know why and what for and could he have and I was taking deep breaths and trying to just remind myself that this is a good thing and just encourage the inquiring mind. Until he finally asked for the same thing for the tenth time in a row because I was trying to finish fixing a cup of coffee before I went to get it for him and no quiet request to just wait two more seconds for mommy to get a sip of coffee was getting through. I scooped him up and got him what he wanted and explained that once mommy had answered he needed to stop asking and give me a chance to get there.

After this, I went to take my shower and as I grumbled to myself about the incessant asking when I'd clearly said wait, it hit me that this, minus the frustration over it, must be how God feels as I incessantly ask and ask and ask for what I want right now in my time, even when I know - very clearly - I've not been told no, I've simply been told to wait. And I was humbled by the thought that I will likely never possess even a thimble-full of the overflowing patience of my Heavenly Father.

And I wonder, if we've been answered, should we just stop asking? Because I believe, firmly, that God wants us to ask. Yet I suspect He wants us to accept the answer we're given, too. And I wonder if there aren't days when He looks at me and shakes His head and thinks, for even a split second, how nice it would be for me to just be still and quiet and wait and trust that He's going to follow through without my whining reminders.

4 comments:

Lynellen said...

Tough one. Cuz i seem to remember someplace where it says that someone actually changed God's mind by continually asking.

Jen said...

So funny you mention this. I had similar thoughts this week when I was at home with the kids, but mine was more along the lines of the infinite patience He must have with us when we are constantly disobedient.

beth said...

Lynellen, it seems I remember something along those lines, but it always makes my head hurt because how do you change God's mind? Doesn't He know that you're going to do that so wouldn't that be His plan anyway?

Jen - kids are good teachers, aren't they?

Lynellen said...

yeah, the old free will vs predestination and free will vs soveriegnty deal. it does make the brain hurt.