12/14/2010

Welcome to the Theater of the Absurd

With a title like that, you have to know this is yet another post about school. Oh. My. Gosh. People.

So, here I was, thinking that finally, finally! I was going to get a chance to do this study and actually have the participation I need and instructors who were not only on board but at least quasi-excited about helping and so, under that apparently HUGE assumption, I sent out an email last night to said instructors with kind of "hey, before the holiday break and before the start of term rush, just a few quick reminders" and oh Lordy, it's like I am some random homeless person on the street asking for spare change.

Who are you again? What was your study? What would we have to do again?

Seriously...have all my prior emails gone astray? (My thought is no, because, hello? You wrote me back!)

So I have answered all their questions again but the sinking sensation in my stomach feels that this whole thing is Jacob Marley forming his ghostly visage in my Inbox as a portent of bad things to come. The ghost of doctoral study past I know. The ghost of doctoral study present I can imagine. The ghost of doctoral study future? Ephemeral, my guess.

Something in me is trying to chant: find the silver lining! Find the silver lining! And all I can come up with is that if they're honest with me now about backing out, at least I should be able to get a refund of my tuition for the coming term. But really, that doesn't cheer me up in the slightest.

Move over Quixote - I think I've got you beat.

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