When Everything You've Been Told Is Wrong

So the whole losing weight thing has been a relatively constant struggle for me. As I mentioned the other day, I've lost friends (more than I can count) because I am genetically prone to being large and everyone just harps on you if you're a fat kid. Let me say that again: everyone harps on the fat kid. (I mention this to hopefully prick the conscience of any parents out there who harp on their chubby - or heck, even fat - kids. Don't do this. Find a way to be constructive. And then, teach them how things really work rather than just assuming they're eating junk or too much - if you want your kid to lose weight, sit down and figure out what's really going on.) (Side note just for clarity's sake: My parents never harped on me about my weight - they were the lone source of sanity on that front.)

The typical assumption for most people upon seeing someone fat is "Oh, they must just sit around and gorge themselves all day." And we hear it. You think your snide little comments are sotto voce, but they're not. And then you add in the well meaning friends/teachers/etc. who just want to be all cute and chime in with "Well just eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight" and you end up with me.

Our health insurance now has us talking to a "health coach" twice in order to get a rather large discount on the plan. So ok, fine, I'll talk to the health coach. And, of course, as I'm overweight, I get to talk to someone about my weight. Whoopie. I was prepared for the usual platitudes: eat less, do more, stop being a lazy cow, why can't you just look like Barbie so that the rest of us don't have to be embarrassed by your general existence. On the positive side, I didn't get any of that. First, she actually understands PCOS and what it does to your body - particularly with regard to having you pack on the weight and leave it there. Second, she told me I needed to eat more.

This kills me. All my life, everyone has said eat less. Because that's the knee jerk reaction. And honestly, I typically eat right around 900 calories a day. Which is, apparently, too few. They want me in the 1400-1500 calories. Can I just say that that is looking like an insurmountable amount? (Now, I'll add that I could hit that easily if I ate crap, but I'm trying to eat things that are actually good for me.) The other day I hit 1200 and felt like I was going to have to be rolled to bed, I'd spent the day feeling so full. Add in that, apparently, my hour on the elliptical actually, in some ways, works against me, as I'm supposed to re-eat the calories that burns and still hit 1400. Just kill me now.

So...anyone have suggestions on somethings I can add as a snack here and there that are not crazy high in fat or sugar but that can help me find 500 more calories a day? Some days I wish God would just go back to manna.