The Mundane

 That's really what's been filling up the days of late. Mundane.

School - which the kids hate (and which, in general, I'm okay with because I feel like that's part of being a kid. Even as nerdly as I was and am, I never adored school. I didn't hate it, but it wasn't as though I waited with joy and glee for each opportunity to go.)

Stress - So much of that for so long that it feels normal now. That's probably bad. I'm going to blame 2020, as I imagine everyone is feeling it to one degree or another. For me, in particular, there's my sister and her cancer and the knowledge (that I try to hard to forget) that even the best outcome is bleak and very short. (She has said, and I think it apt, that 18 months is "Too short to live, and too long to die." I don't know if she coined it or stole it, but regardless it's apt.) There's also my dad, who's hanging in, but who you can also see fading into a shadow of who he used to be. He may end up living quite a few years as his health is fine, but it doesn't seem like there's going to be much, if any, joy for him. That's almost worse than him dying, as this is dying by degrees. And then you can lump in everything else as having no where to go and no one to see leaves entirely too much time for introspection. For me, that inevitably is a bad thing.

Youngest has been struggling. This isn't new, nor is it news, particularly. But it's hard and it feels harder than usual. And yet again so semi-constant that I wonder if it's struggling or simply The Way It Is. And that's heartbreaking for everyone. Basically, all I really can do is fall back on the reminder that in our family we do hard things, and he has more hard things than others, which is unfair, but doesn't excuse the doing of them. 

The weather, at least, has been a delight. If it could be this way year round, I would be a happy girl. (Although I'd also be happy with colder for longer, but I do love the fall.)

We finished sealing the patio and deck (finally) this morning. It's good to have it done. It's also good that the light sprinkle that happened while we were doing it (to the chagrin and annoyance of the hubs) never turned into anything. So I'm glad we persevered and got it done. Now it just needs to finish drying before the early a.m. rain they're anticipating tomorrow.