I've started and deleted probably twenty posts of late. Feels like I'm inevitably mopey around these parts - or have only the banal to share.
The reality is, my sister's cancer has moved into "Well, we might be able to find a clinical trial." status. And that somewhat overwhelms much of life.
Dad is doing poorly with the above information (no shock there) and it's coupling with the impending three-year anniversary of Mom's passing and, well, they say most men don't live much past three years of losing their spouse and I don't think Dad is going to be the exception to the rule.
Youngest's ADHD seems to be worsening? Spiraling beyond the limits of his medicine even though we bumped up the dose? I don't know. It's worse. Everyone is miserable. We'll see the doctor next week but it's just one more thing I'm supposed to manage that I don't know how to carry.
Eldest is sinking into sullen teenager with aplomb and...I feel like I should be able to make that stop, but how? I'm seriously considering that he might need therapy (hell, we probably all need it right now) but when I try to broach the topic he acts as though he's done something wrong and I'm intent on punishing him or selling him to pirates. Which is...strange? We're a very pro-mental health help family around here so I don't get it. It's just one more place where I feel as though the gap between me and him is widening and I don't know how to build a bridge.
And see? None of this is fun to read, so really why share it? It doesn't change anything or make it lighter. Because it simply is how it is. And presumably this too shall pass. At some point.
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