A Dog's Life

Every day when I leave for work, I kiss my dogs, give them a treat, and remind them of their chores that need to be done by the time I get home. I don't think it's strange - everyone needs chores, and dog chores are not particularly taxing.

For example, there is a squirrel who frequents our front yard, zipping back and forth in front of the windows in a rather obnoxious manner - making his way toward the bird feeder to try and steal seed from the finches and cardinals that would otherwise be able to partake. One of the dog chores is to see that said squirrel receives at least 10 good minutes of barking and growling and charging at the window. I imagine they're overachievers when it comes to this activity - it's always fun to do things you're good at. And these girls are champion barkers.

Then, there can not be the requisite amount of dog hair on every surface in the house if the air vents are not laid on. Each floor vent needs at least five minutes of napping to ensure that the hair can get into the ductwork and spread out more evenly than simple rolling and daily use would accomplish. Certain areas, like bed pillows, the part of the comforter that gets curled up just under your chin, and chairs that are most often sat upon in work clothes just prior to leaving for the day, need special attention. And, thankfully, they're all nice soft surfaces, perfect for napping or rolling (see additional chores below.)

It is imperative that energy be reserved for when the people are at home. Thus, naps are critical. If not multi-tasking and accomplishing hair distribution during naps, there are shafts of sunlight that vary throughout the day that must be laid in and dog pillows that must be fluffed and snuggled. This task, I admit, is particularly arduous and absorbs a large portion of the day.

The remainder of the day is allocated to various mischief. This can include chasing, rolling, wrestling, and keep away - as well as other active entertainments. What is most critical is that proper form is maintained when in pounce position and that ears are not actually punctured when bitten. It's one thing to show superiority, it's another to actually cause injury. Often, the temptation exists to expand this general mischief into "mommy no-nos" - things they know are bad but are very tempting. Generally these are avoided, but really, if mommy leaves the treat bag within reach, whose fault is it? And the foil really does need to be shredded - it's crumb patrol, after all - so if you're picking up wrapper for the next three weeks..well, so be it.

I haven't yet gotten home to find chores left undone. And in fact, they're such industrious little dogs that often the chores continue into the evening. Depending on whim. Ah, dog chores. If only they were the only kind.