Ten Years Ago...the Rehearsal Dinner

Tomorrow is our 10th Wedding Anniversary. For anyone who's been married any length of time, you probably understand the dichotomy of feeling like it's never really been different and feeling that it's only been a few days since your wedding. Or at least, I hope you do. Regardless, that makes today the 10th anniversary of our rehearsal dinner, and I have finally hit a point in my life that I can look back and actually laugh. At the time, I was stressed and my sense of humor sorely taxed and...well, it was the night before the biggest day of my life to date and I had really wanted it all to go smoothly.

Note to all future brides: Your rehearsal dinner will never go smoothly. It's a fact of life. As is the fact that something - at least one something, possibly two or three - will go horribly, horribly wrong on your wedding day. Take a valium now and find someone who will promise to protect you from it on that day and only tell you later.

So, imagine if you will, an enormous ugly sanctuary. Yes, I said ugly. The church I grew up in is hideous. I really wanted to get married somewhere else, but...well, it was prohibitively expensive. I am still pretty proud of the fact that my entire wedding cost only $5,000. But that does mean that I got married in ugly-land. First, the sanctuary is designed to hold 2,500 people. Not being related to anyone currently holding political or dictatorial, monarchial, or entertainment industry reign, we were not expecting that many people. Just around 250. Which would look huge in any place that wasn't designed to hold 10 times that many people. Then, it's decorated in...I kid you not...beige and sky blue. With dark brown "wood" accents.

Note to church building committees: DO NOT let men choose the color shemes for santuaries. Please, put at least one woman on the committee for decorating. Preferably let the whole decorating committee be women. Stop the ugly madness now!

Anyway, we did the best we could and the flowers were in place and people commented that they'd never seen the sanctuary look lovlier. I believe them. It's just also not saying much.

The rehearsal itself went fine. We started around 4:30 and were wrapping up almost on schedule at about 6. The food was all upstairs in the little fellowship hall area. And the three diabetics were all starting to experience blood sugar drops. Not a problem, let them go eat while we finish right? Well...not so easy. One's the mother of the groom. One's the father of the bride. And the third is the grandmother of the bride. All kind of critical people for that "one last run through of the processional."

Finally, with tempers flaring...we go upstairs to eat. The rehearsal dinner is typically underwritten/provided by the groom's parents, as I'm sure you are all aware. Rewind three months back to this conversation:

Future Mother-in-Law (FMIL): What would you like us to serve at the rehearsal dinner?
Me: Well, since you want it to be self-catered, why not get a Honey Baked ham and do some easy sides and salads to go with it? Then it can pretty much be cold or involve very minimal cooking.
FMIL: Ok. But what about if we were to get Carolina BBQ and bring it up frozen?
Me: Well, pushing aside that I really don't like Carolina BBQ, how are you going to cook and serve it?
FMIL: Well, we could just have all the family that's driving in bring their crock pots. That shouldn't be a problem.
Me: (With heart sinking) Wouldn't a ham be easier? We could just order it and pick it up that day and voila! A meal. Ready to go.
FMIL: Well, that would be fine. But what about the Carolina BBQ?

and that went round and round for some time. Fast-forward back to the rehearsal dinner, 3 low diabetics, a posse of hungry other relatives all go upstairs to eat. Bets anyone on how much of the BBQ is actually not cold all the way through? Anyone?

So while everyone is eating their lukewarm at best BBQ and other sides, I plot my trip to McDonalds on my way back to the house. No one is happy. And that's when the aunt-in-law-to-be-from-Hades strikes...

"Why isn't my youngest daughter in the wedding party?"
Um.
"I think it was done just to slight me. We're not coming tomorrow!"

And they didn't. And you know what, it was a better day because of that.

Then there was the bridesmaid who hadn't shown up yet. And the sister who wasn't sure that she liked the groom. (They're over that, thankfully.) And the parents-in-law to be who weren't sure their precious baby boy should be marrying me. (Not sure if they're over that one yet.) And the sisters-in-law to be who were POSITIVE that he shouldn't be marrying me. And...

A typical family gathering.

I went home and cried myself to sleep. Today I just laugh.

Perspective is a wonderful thing.