Apparently the quantity of homework now going on in our household has begun to interfere with the quality and, frankly, quanitity of frolicking required by Fruity Puppy on a given day. It has now gotten to the point where she and Crazy Dog have had to resort to superhero-like adventuring in an effort to relieve the suffering that is their existence. This is a retelling of the events of last evening, viewed with scarecely smothered giggles from behind the various homework-like reading materials in the posession of both Tim and myself.
"Come, Crazy Dog, the humans are absorbed yet again with the mysterious contents of those books and stapled papers, it is up to us to ensure the safety and security of this land."
"But Fruity Puppy, I am convinced that if I lick this bowl long enough I will get one more microscopic particle of flavor as a reward for my efforts. Can you wait just a few more minutes?"
"No! The time for action is now, if you will not leave the bowl of your own volition, I will drag you along by your tail. Do you forget the awesome strength and power of my jaws? Let me remind you." *Chomp!* *Tug!* *Tug!*
"Gosh, Fruity Puppy, you can be a pain sometimes. Leggo already, I'll come, with just one last, longing glance at my food bowl." *Whirl* "Ok, the game is on, the power of my mighty headbutt will teach you to pull at my tail with your iron jaws!"
"Hahahahahaha, I can side-hop away faster than you can headbutt! You may be older than I am, Crazy Dog, but I am young and spry and can leap over the Ottoman Empire in a single bound! Catch me if you can while I run in crazy circles around the downstairs of our domain!"
"Fruity Puppy, your time on this planet is limited - for I know the trick to catching you, I will run crazily in the opposite direction and..." *Pounce!* "Leap upon your shoulders as your round the bend from the living room."
"Aaahhh! You caught me! But I can wriggle away, I will twist and turn, craning my neck to - wait, what's that noise?" *Freeze Frame - utter stillness, ears cocked*
"Fruity Puppy, why are we standing -"
"Shhh, Crazy Dog. I thought I heard a leaf fall in a yard two houses away."
*Silence as they both ponder, alert.*
"Forget it, it was nothing and," *pounce* "Now I've got you by the shoulders and will chew on your ears, Fruity Puppy. Never underestimate the benefits of age and wily-ness."
"Oh yeah, Crazy Dog? I will do my patented muzzle-leg sweep and knock you off balance and then sprint away! Hahahahahaha, catch me if you can, Crazy Dog!"
"Run all you want, Fruity Puppy, I'm right behind you!"
*Zipping in circles with brief wrestling matches ensue, the conversation strangely similar in each case to the above until...*
"Enough!" *pant pant* "Enough, Fruity Puppy, I must go see if can entice some ear scritching out of the humans."
"Ok, Crazy Dog," *pant pant* "But only because I need to go consume six gallons of water to rehydrate myself after our exertions."
*After receiving said scritches, Crazy Dog flops on the nice cold kitchen floor, still panting. Fruity Puppy continues to drink for the next 8-10 minutes before flopping on the rug in the entry hall where she has a good view of any potential trespassers and can sound the alarm should a blade of grass have the temerity to grow on her watch.*
4 days ago
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteVery funny! You've gotta love 'em! And how did the homework session go? My dogs can't stand it when I just sit and stare (at a book, at a computer, or just into space). They whimper and pout until they are between me and the object of my staring.
ReplyDeleteThe homework is wiggling along - I caught myself thinking "Gosh, I don't remember college being this hard" last night. Shortly thereafter it occurred to me that that's ALL I was doing and, well, it was undergrad. But it's chugging along so we'll see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the puppies often will descend into grabbing at your arm with their paws as if to say, "Pay ATTENTION, mom." Silly little ones.
this is a much better explanation than "my dog ate my homework!"
ReplyDeleteDiane
You just nararrated (sp?) my puppy and my older dog to a tee. They literally act this out every day. You are so funny Beth!!!
ReplyDeleteDogs rule, cats droool. :) (Actually though I really like cats too, but Tim's allergic. You can tell just how much I love him that I was willing to make a life without cats just to be with him. THAT is sacrifice.)
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed the adventures - they keep us amused and oh how I love them.