Sleeping Issues

Last week, both Ellen and Dooce discussed sleep training their toddlers. Both of them used Ferber (which seems to be essentially a cry-it-out type of method where you make sure there's no physical issues and let the child learn to self-soothe.) It sounds heartwrenching for the parents, but both found that it worked and their kiddos seem to have very good sleeping habits. I was amazed, however, at how much abuse was poured into their comments. I guess sleep training is a hot button for some moms.

Also over the last week, Tim has been struggling with insomnia. He's very much of the opinion that if you're laying in bed and can't sleep, after 15 or so minutes, you need to get up and do something else for a half-hour or so and then try it again. Lather, rinse, repeat until you finally sleep. I was raised that you lay there and suck it up. As an adult, I've adopted Tim's method, because frankly, when I'm laying there unable to sleep, I get irritated. Irritation quickly turns to frustration, and then back to irritation and, frankly, neither of those things helps me get back to sleep. So getting up makes me feel like I'm being proactive about it. Plus, sometimes I can pinpoint what it is that is niggling in the back of my mind and get it done (a.k.a. do some extra homework) and then I can rest.

Anyway, the first night Tim hit the insomnia wall, he crawled into bed, finally feeling able to sleep, around 4:30 a.m. Our alarm goes off at 5:20. Needless to say, he was not ready to get up when it was time. I told him to just stay home and rest. He did. That night, he still couldn't sleep. Though he did manage to get enough that he dragged himself into work the next day. At that point, there was enough exhaustion that he made it, mostly, through the rest of the week. Until Sunday night. When he had the same problem again, though he did get to sleep at 2 instead of 4:30. But yesterday we practiced the adult version of Ferber - the "Tough it out" (TIO) method.

In adult Ferber (TIO), the adult in question, considers sleeping in and going to work late. The spouse of the adult in question gets up and starts getting ready for work, grumbling quietly to herself about having to drive herself to work (yeah yeah, I'm not proud of it, it was unsympathetic, but I was tired too, dang it, and the heaping coals were not far behind.) As the spouse gets ready to go, the exhausted adult in question is seen dragging himself out of bed with the comment that he's just going to try and get up and make it through the day. (Unsympathetic spouse now eats a huge breakfast of crow and tries to make the rest of the morning bearable for exhausted spouse.)

So, the stage is now set for toughing it out. Tim made it through the day (though he had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week last week and it's looking like that trend may be continuing this week - cause after all, the week you're exhausted is obviously the week when you're going to have major hardware failures at work and lots of people who could fix it are going to be either too busy or out of the office, leaving the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the exhausted. And, just for fun, your home computer will break down too. Murphy clearly did not get my letter.)

Anyway, when we got home, a nap was suggested and refused. A walk was taken (which the puppies adored - lots of fun new spring smells to sniff!) and a sleeping pill was consumed 1/2 hour before bed. I was told this morning that Tim slept well. I'm hoping that TIO did the trick.

I'm hoping it fervently. Cause you see, last night? While Tim was snoring quietly away. I was wide awake.