A Public Service Announcement for Slugs*

Hygiene is a very important aspect of life. Please remember and begin to incorporate the following suggestions if you plan to catch a ride home with a complete, random stranger and expect for them to forget you when you get out of their car (rather than memorize as much of your face as they can so as to calculatedly avoid having you ride with them one more time):

1. Deodorant. No one over the age of 11 should be leaving the house without having applied some. Ever. On very hot days it is absolutely permissible to take it with you to work and reapply liberally as needed.
2. Visit your dentist regularly. Every six months is the minimum recommendation.
3. If you know you are plagued by halitosis, keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in your desk. Brush throughout the day as often as necessary to prohibit everyone within a six block radius from knowing your location when you exhale.
4. Breathe through your nose.
   
5. Especially if you are plagued by halitosis.
6. And you're in a car. Cars are enclosed spaces, no matter how high the A/C fan is set.
   
7. If someone who is a complete, utter stranger, goes out of their way to find and offer you a mint without taking one for herself, do not politely refuse. This is a hint that you need the mint. Take. The. Mint.
   
8. If for some dietary reason you can not take the sugar-free 2 calorie mint offered in item #7, when said mint is offered, politely decline then take one of whatever version of mint/breath-freshener you carry around with you.
9. You do carry around breath-freshener, right?
   
10. If the air around you visibly turns a pukey-greeny-yellowy color and things start to shrivel everytime you exhale, you owe it to the world to carry around breath-freshener.

This has been a slug-line Public Service Announcement.

*Slug: Someone who bums a ride with random strangers at pre-determined spots in order to allow all persons to make the HOV requirement for express lanes and thus avoid horriffic traffic. Reference the website for more info.