Don't Look Now there's A Monkey On Your Back

Tim and I were latecomers to the whole 24 phenomenon. In fact, I can distinctly recall trying to get into it for season 2 - they did a 24 24-hour marathon of season 1 right before season 2 started and I sat down thinking that I would watch an episode and then record the rest. I don't think I even made it through one episode.

I'm ashamed to admit that what followed was years of superiority and eye rolling whenever the 24-freaks in our family (well, Tim's family; my family has no 24-freaks) would wax poetic on all things Jack Bauer. Inevitably would come the utterance, "You mean...you don't watch it?" Such horrified whispers had previously been reserved for deadly diseases or catastrophic natural disasters.

Finally, unable to bear the shame any longer without a quick shot in the arm of moral superiority, we sat down to watch season 4. And we really never got back up again. Something in season 4 grabbed us by the throat and the subtle transformation took place until we were the 24-freaks staring in wide-eyed horror at people who don't watch the show and isn't there some kind of law about that?

Since we were late to the game, the whole cast of characters was unknown to us and periodic phone calls to those in the know had to be made to get the backstory - you know, who's that Tony guy and why was he convicted of treason? What's the deal with the tension between him and Michelle. And so forth.

So the news last year, about this time in fact, that A&E would re-run seasons 1-4 in order prior to the start of season 5 was met with great rejoicing in the Sleepy household. The DVR was tuned and checked on a rigid schedule to make sure that all 24 episodes of each season were recorded, in order, for our later perusal. And so we sat down and we ticked through Season 1. Season 2 was ticked through interspersed with season 5 (since we wanted to stay caught up so as to be able to converse intelligently at the water cooler). And then came Season 3.

Why did they make Season 3?

There is just no up-side to Season 3! First off, way, way, way too much Kim. As annoying as Jack kissing Audrey every other second in seasons 4 and 5 was, I would gladly have 24 hours straight of Jack kissing Audrey than all this Kim. If Kim is going to be in the next season, couldn't it simply be a scene where they're standing over her dismembered body and sighing about how the dumb, busty, and useless ones always die young?

Secondly, season 3 has turned into Battlestar Gallactica for me. (For those who don't know, in the current BSG, I'm rooting for the Cylons.) I kinda want to see the virus released at this point - if only to put me out of my misery. We have four hours left to watch and, frankly, I have no interest in watching them. Everyone is being stupid. Tony is being stupid. Jack is being stupid. Kim just is stupid. Palmer isn't exactly a shining example of Presidential fitness. The only ones actually doing things the smart way are the bad guys.

Season 3 of 24 has become a monkey. A horrible, life-sucking monkey. When the TV goes on these days, we look at the pitiful offerings on the DVR (4 hours of 24, 1.5 hours of BSG, and then anything that recorded Monday or Tuesday of this week) and the conversation goes like this:

Tim: 24?
Me: Meh...maybe I'll go look for navel lint.