Weekend Movie Lineup

For whatever bizarre reason, while Tim was out of town I queued up a number of movies that I thought we might enjoy watching at some point. (Well, one part of the reason is that our DVR is woefully lacking in content these days as the summer shows wind down and the fall shows haven't yet started.) We watched two of them this weekend.

First up was Into the Blue. The basic plot of this movie was to try and find as many reasons to put Jessica Alba into a bikini and then have her swim around such that she got a wedgie and exposed maximum butt cheek. After what felt like about an hour, I turned to Tim and asked if he was as bored as I was. He admitted that it was certainly a slow starter. We paused for a second to see how much time was remaining, only to realize that we'd managed to watch exactly 20 minutes and that over an hour and a half still remained. We watched the majority of the rest of it on x60. It went something like, "Blah blah blah. Oh, now they're fighting. Hey, drug dealers. I bet he's bad. Ha! I was right, he is bad. Swim swim blah blah. Really uncomfortable looking wedgie. More drug dealers - hey, he's bad too. I actually didn't see that coming. Awww, now they found treasure." Unless you want unrelentingly boring hours of watching Jessica Alba in a bikini, I'd skip this one. 0 Wedgies out of 5.

Second was The DaVinci Code. I honestly didn't have a huge interest in seeing this other than because I thought I read somewhere that it was a reasonably good mystery. If you recall, I tried to read Angels and Demons but ultimately gave up. So I didn't even bother with the DaVinci Code (note to my sister: yes, I was mistaken when I said I'd read it - I was thinking of A&D). First, Dan Brown is the kind of writer who should give enormous hope to aspiring writers everywhere, because if someone will publish him, everyone can get published. I found TDVC predictable and semi-slow. I thought the acting was so-so, but the scenery was gorgeous. Tim's comment at the end was that it wasn't even as good as Robot Jox. This is one I'd say watch for the scenery and cinematography (if you're going to bother at all). 1 Heretic out of 5.