Split Personalities

I think my putative dissertation adviser may be suffering from multiple personality disorder. First, he thought everything was great, green lighted my idea paper, and we were off and running. Then, after months of silence, he looked over it again and had huge concerns about its viability. We talked some more and it seemed as if we were hunky dory again with a few minor changes to be made. I asked two clarifying questions and heard nothing for a few days. Got his response today and now it seems like we're back to the "this idea sucks" stage of things.

I need this roller coaster ride right now like I need another hole in my head.

So for now, I'm just not worrying about my dissertation. I've got too many upcoming assignments to make it through these last sixish weeks of classes. And then I guess I'll cough up the tuition for the first semester of dissertation and plug along with revisions and rejustifications and see where we are at the end of that. You have no idea how tempting it is right now to just settle for ABD. I won't. But it's tempting. (It's even more tempting because I'll have my Ed. Specialist as soon as I'm done with the coursework, so I will have gotten a degree out of it. Just not my PhD.)

And I'm so incredibly unmotivated to finish these assignments. One is a big group project. Setting aside how much I dislike group projects, I just really don't see the point of this project. And it's one of those "create me something" assignments with no real guidance about what you're supposed to actually put together that just leaves you floundering around hoping that you'll be able to guess what it is he's really looking for. And you don't dare ask, because he was very clear at the beginning of the course that he's explained as best as he's able so don't ask.

The other is a navel gazing paper about my learning style and how it makes me a good or bad online student and how it makes me a good or bad instructor. Bleh.

I'll just be glad when school is over.