I should be trying to get some homework done right now. I know this. You know this. And yet, I sit here blogging even though realistically I have absolutely nothing to say. (Though, of course, this is pretty typical as well and has never stopped me before, so there's that.)
I find my motivation for school work has reached an all-time low and I place the blame almost entirely on the fact that this next semester is the start of my dissertation and I am supremely bummed about the backwards progress I've made with respect to my idea paper. I was all jazzed in October, thinking that I was on track and that finishing up in two semesters was going to be no biggie. And now...now I have a boat load of work to do on my idea paper and no guarantee that my adviser (why can I not spell that word - I always type advisor and it's what looks right to me, but what can I say? It has an e, not an o.) will even give it a green light thereafter. And so I am borrowing trouble. I am the master of the worst case scenario - and I spend hours with this particular one running through my brain because I don't have any other ideas. None. And I really am not looking forward to expending the effort required to try and come up with one...or seventeen, which is probably a more realistic number to look into if I actually want to get one approved.
Yes, I know, that's awfully pessimistic.
Regardless, given the fact that at this point in the back of my brain I don't actually believe I'm going to be able to finish this degree, my homework has take on a considerably less important shine. Because what good does it do to have a 4.0 if you never actually graduate? Add in the fact that I don't think I'll actually be able to pull an A in one class this term because of the enormous group project due at the end of January and the host of slackers who are in my group (there's me and another girl who are working and the other two who are doing basically as little as possible) and the fact that the prof. doesn't really seem to care about equitable division of labor so we're all getting the same grade and frankly I'm tired of carrying other people through school.
Add all that up and what do you have? A champion procrastinator.
I guess I should try to get back to work......or maybe I could go read a book.
6 hours ago
And you have a new baby - hello, maternity leave.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me you're taking maternity leave?
Well, I quit my job - so that's permanent maternity leave, right? :) Though I'll teach online starting in late February if they need me. But I can't really take maternity leave from school - the semester ends when it ends. So...I just have to push through January.
ReplyDeleteWell, I thought you quit your job, but just wanted to make sure you're taking the time you need to bond with Joshua.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, aren't you thinking school-schmool? ;-)
Yeah, for a new mom you are keeping "mum" a lot. Where are all the posts about how the cute faces he makes when he poops? Or about how sweet-smelling the reflux is? Or how tiny his diapers are? HUH? HUH? HUH???
ReplyDeleteOh it is absolutely school-schmool. And since I have to have Josh pried out of my hands, I think we're probably doing ok on the bonding time - he spends as much time as I can get (read: steal from his daddy) snuggled on my chest or in my lap, with many of those minutes lost while I stare at his big, beautiful brown eyes.
ReplyDeleteJaynee, I'm trying to be sensitive to the non-parent population in my meager reading audience. Couple that with the fact that we spent most of yesterday in the car changing venues (oh how I wish we could go home!) there wasn't a lot to blog about other than "Josh sleeps in the car. Yay! And driving in Florida is very boring." But believe me, there is much gushing yet to come. :)
Well, I'm a non-parent and I'm waiting for some serious gushing, some all Josh, all the time type blogging. :)
ReplyDeleteBut I hear you about school.. doing someone else's work for them sucks. And funny, I have the same problem spelling advisor/adviser. It doesn't look right either way.
Hope you can go home soon!
I was wondering about the lack of Joshua comments, as well!
ReplyDeleteWe want more! We want more!
As far as procrastination goes, well, you have quite the excuse for a little bit, probably nestled on your chest as I write this!
I'd say not to give up on your education, but with a baby around, I'd be doing the same thing. :)
ReplyDeleteMore baby pictures! (I know that might sound weird coming from a guy, but hey, I'm a daddy.)
What happened to the rewards system???
ReplyDelete