Through the Wringer

Apparently the saga of the mop is not yet over.

The new mop, how shall we put it? Oh yes. Sucks. Sucks like very few things have ever sucked before, in fact. In fact, to describe the levels of sucktitude that this mop embodies requires that I pause for a moment to determine exactly where to begin.

I'll start with the spongy mop head - you know, the part that is supposed to clean your floor? I am pretty well convinced that my floor would be just as clean as it is after mopping with said new mop if I were to look at it sternly and flap my arms about a bit. See, the sponge part barely sticks out past the wringers. Even if you make sure that the wringers are well and truly retracted, you still end up scraping them across your floor when you're trying to mop. This, in turn, creates skid marks that you have to try and go back over to pick up. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to make the floor dirtier when mopping. Now, one side of the mop head does appear to work a little better at clearing the wringers. Sadly, this is the side that has the brush thingy. The brush thingy that is nondetachable (like it has been on every other mop I've owned - no, this one is injection molded as part of the whole apparatus that holds the mop together...they REALLY wanted you to have a scrub brush.) So while you might get a slightly better swipe of the mop head, what you really get is an inability to go under things (like the fridge or the oven) because the brush sticks up so high. Flip it over and you get the skid mark issue.

We move up the handle to the wringer mechanism. Most wringing mops will have you pull a handle up to wring the mop head, or, the handle will be high enough up that pushing the handle down does not cause you to have to bend in half. This mop is of the push down variety, with the handle for the mechanism located approximately 18 inches above the mop head. I suspect they think you're sitting while mopping. In addition, it's very clearly a left-handed mop. Because the only "comfortable" way to actually wring out the thing is to do it with your left hand. And I use the word comfortable lightly here - even left handed you can't get a good enough grip on the thing that you're not performing all manner of contortions to get it to go down.

And then there's the handle itself. I suspect the handle was designed by a chauvinist who goes around calling his wife "the little woman." This handle is long enough, perhaps, for a standard collie to use comfortably. I am 5'4", which in technical terms is considered "lilliputian" or "shrimpy", so it's not as if I'm asking a lot. But the handle should not be so short that someone my height is forced to mop in a bent over position. Granted, if you hold the mop perpendicular to the floor it's plenty tall, but I haven't yet mastered the art of mopping in this fashion. (Actually, perhaps that's the problem with the mop head as well. I imagine you get plenty of contact with no skid marks if you mop perpendicularly.)

So the dilemma begins. Do I get yet another new mop or do I suck it up and continue mopping what was clearly modeled after something Madame Tussuad's Chamber of Horrors?