2/09/2009

Missing Anonymity

When I started blogging, no one I knew knew about this little place. And so I let the random babbles fall from my fingers and into the blogosphere...to exactly no reading eyes. Seriously, I added a stat counter because I never got comments and I wondered if anyone was actually looking. And they weren't.

So I told a few people about it and between that and reading other blogs and commenting, there grew a little readership. And it is nice to get the occasional comment and to look at my stats periodically and see the 20ish of you out there who stop by.

But.

I have something that's nagging at me, to do with a friend (just to clear up for my family that it's not to do with them) that realistically I can't blather about here because it's entirely likely it'll get back to that person. And it's something I know I just need to figure out how to get over, it's not something worth bringing up with that person - and blogging about it would likely help...except that then I'd have to discuss it with that person and, like I just said, I know there's no point in that. And so I find myself half wishing I hadn't told quite so many people who actually know me about my blog. Because I'm really at a loss for exactly how to get over this little problem of mine without talking it through. (And though Tim is normally my sounding board, there are two problems with this current situation. 1) He's a fixer - and I don't really need suggestions on how to fix, I just really need a sounding board / place to vent. 2) He would roll his eyes and tell me how silly I'm being. And I already know that.) Same general problems go for blathering to my sister or mom about it.

All this self-editing gets tiring. And that's the reason for the lack of posts lately. I'll try to build my bridge and get on with the thrilling tales of trips to the post office quickly.

4 comments:

Jen said...

I feel ya. Sometimes the self-editing gets tiresome. But sometimes I write it all out anyway and just don't post it. That helps.

Rodmonster said...

=(

beth said...

Jen, that's a good idea...and I may also email someone with absolutely no connection.

Rodney...not you.

Gwynne said...

What Jen said...

...or you could ad lib and embelish the situation enough that it becomes as much fiction as reality and then maybe the person won't recognize him/herself in the story. Plus, you could let out some of your frustration/feelings through the creativity expressed that way. One of my forms of therapy as a kid was to draw pictures of the person I was angry/frustrated with (stick figures, mind you, and usually of my brother :-) and, depending on how angry/frustrated I was, commit the appropriate level of revenge through my drawing. That worked wonders, but then again, that was before e-mail and blogs were available. ;-)