3/02/2010

Blog Tour: Mother-Daughter Duet

The mother/daughter dynamic is one that is always full of ups and downs. Over time, I think the majority of mothers and daughters learn to traverse that path and minimize the rockiness that most seem to see as innate and unavoidable. In Mother-Daughter Duet, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum (a mother and daughter) look at their relationship (which appears to have been considerably more rocky than most) and explore how they got off those rocks into a mutually satisfying friendship.

If you've read any type of relationship book before, a lot of this will not be new - it's just geared toward mothers and daughters rather than husbands and wives. (This is stuff like how to listen, not projecting your expectations onto someone else, etc.) That said, I don't really think daughters are going to get much, if anything, out of reading this book. It's really a book for mothers of daughters (and probably adult daughters, at that), though Ali does chime in with her perspective at the end of each chapter.

That said, I disagree with what appears to be the overriding idea that mothers should not voice concerns or questions about their daughter's decisions so as not to damage the relationship. One example given is an 18 year old's decision to get a tattoo. While I would agree that flying off the handle isn't going to help anyone, I disagree with the authors that the mother shouldn't express her thought that it was perhaps not the best decision that could've been made. Further condemnation is pointless, but I know I benefit from hearing my mom's advice, even when I disagree with it and even if, as an adult, I choose to dismiss it. I think our relationship is better for the honest communication (even when that honesty is pointing out her disapproval). Certainly we have bumps and bruises on both sides because of it, but at the end of the day, I know my mother isn't patronizing me or building up resentment because she's trying to preserve the relationship by becoming someone she isn't.

Overall, I can't say I was overly impressed with this book - but then again, I'm really not the target audience.

Find out more here.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

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