And Oh, By The Way

This morning I got an email from someone in the small group Tim and I lead at church saying that these folks were going to look elsewhere "just to be sure they were in the right place." I didn't (and don't) have a problem with that - you need to be in the right small group and there are so many factors that go into it that you probably do need to shop around some before you settle into one completely. What got me, though, was the last line: "Oh, by the way, there's nothing wrong on your end, we just feel like we need to look."

You know, if they'd left that off, I never would have thought there was - for all the reasons I just listed. But adding that in is along the lines of some of these other fan favorites of unsolicited commentary that all have an unsaid "Because normally..." implied after them:

  • That outfit doesn't make you look fat at all.
  • Did you change your hair, it looks really nice today.
and so on, and so forth.

I wish I could say that with this person she didn't intend it that way (and she might not have) but with her, it's hard to tell. She's not one of these people who says what she thinks or means (at least not in my experience.) Regardless, I simply wrote her back and told her we hoped they'd stay but that obviously they should go where God was leading.

I'm working on taking people at face value, so leaving it there was tough. But in the end, if she meant something ugly by it, there's no point in me acknowledging that and if she didn't, then there's definitely no point. I do hope they stay, but I'm fairly certain they won't...I just hope they go ahead and find somewhere else that they fit rather than fading into the woodwork.


Gwynne said...

Among my favorites is "I'm not lying".

Rachel said...


beth said...

Gwynne, Yes - that's another great one.

Rachel...that about sums it up, doesn't it?