Strange Road Debris

This afternoon, as the kiddo and I were navigating through the various obstacles on the floor of our local Jiffy Lube so they could show me the terribly dirty air filters from my car and then rope me into $300 worth of service when I came in for a $35 oil change, my phone rang. I ignored it as I was busy trying to answer the man's questions, trying to silence my inner skeptic that was yelling in my ear "Do you REALLY think those came out of your car or are they just the 'show these to the customer to sell new filters' filters?", and trying to explain to the kiddo for the seven hundredth time that they were going to change the oil. What's oil? It's a slippery substance that helps the car run. Why? Because if you don't have it then the car doesn't run as well and the process of running the car makes the oil dirty and, therefore, less slippery? Why? I don't really know, I think it's because as the gas burns it makes residue that gets absorbed by the oil as it flows around. We can look it up when we get home. What's that? That's the air filter out of our car. Or someone's car. Yes, it's dirty. Why? Because... He is two and the world is a world of wonder. I am trying to answer his questions and feed his brain....some days I really understand the temptation to stop with "Because I said so." and "Go ask your father."

After I got back into the waiting area (Yes, that's a coffee machine. No, we don't need coffee. No, we don't need water either. Or a snack. Can you please sit here for a minute? No, let's not destroy their fake plant. Here, how about you draw on this? No? Oooh, look, mommy has candy in her purse.) I called my sister back.

"What's up?"

"Mom was driving me to physical therapy and hit a bowling ball."

"Excuse me? It sounded like you said mom hit a bowling ball."

"I did. It got stuck between the wheel and the body of the car and left a big divot in the road, so we pulled over and are waiting for AAA."

"Where did the bowling ball come from?"

"It just rolled into the street and she couldn't swerve without hitting someone."

Not uttered but thought: Guess that's why they call them lanes and why extra tires are called spares.

The nice man from AAA came and pulled the bowling ball out and then drove away. When of course the battery died and they couldn't restart the car. So they called him and he came back. But his battery starter was not working. After a bit of dithering he did manage to get them started with jumper cables and they were back on the way, no worse for wear.

I think this just edges out Tim for the title of Strangest Road Debris Ever (his was a mattress that got kicked up off the pavement by a bus which then proceeded to shear off the antenna before flying into the car behind them.)