8/25/2011

You Can't Be A Mom *and* OCD

Or at least, I can't. My mom has started remarking on the fact that my OCD tendencies have taken a vacation since becoming a mom (though I should clarify here for the record, I do not *have* OCD, however, when I get stressed, I organize. It helps me cope. Also, disorganization for long periods of time makes the back of my skull itch. But I do not even enter the same planet of Howard Hughes or Adrian Monk.) And you know, for the most part, she's right.

It was pretty early on that I realized I was not going to be able to keep up sane mothering (which, by necessity means that kids can play and the cushions get taken off the couch and there's dog fur on the floor pretty much within 2 seconds of having just run the vacuum) and a neat house. I continue to periodically toy with the idea of hiring a house keeper, but honestly, though I enjoyed coming home from work to a clean house, there were too many things that weren't cleaned the way *I* would clean them (which thus needed to be recleaned) that really, there's no point. Though if I could find someone who would come every week to mop my kitchen and bathroom floors and scrub showers - and that's it - I would willingly pay them to do that.

The most recent remark came this evening as my mom commented on how surprised she was that I am not yet packed for our vacation. In days past, I would totally be packed by now. And I'll admit to a small amount of stress about not at least being started, but it just hasn't worked out that I've had time (between printing, signing, faxing and then emailing reams - and you think I kid, but no, really, reams - of paper to our attorneys, trying to shop for fall clothes for the boy because it occurred to me that he will need warmer clothes than what I currently have in his size, and Tim working crazy hours leaving me with the basic "keep the house running" functions, well, packing has moved down the list considerably.) I do have some lists made, so that's good. This evening I packed the kiddo's backpack full of fun things to occupy his time on the airplane (hopefully both rides) and I think there is more than enough to keep us from being the scourge of the air. But really? It'll get taken care of tomorrow and Saturday before we load the car. And whatever we forget, we'll have to just buy when we get there.

Four years ago I would have been in a purple panic, and most likely staying up all night so that I could get it taken care of. Tonight I plan to go to bed at a reasonable hour because I'm just plain exhausted. And really, whenever I start to get annoyed at having to take my Zoloft every morning because I feel fine, I hope that I can think back to this and realize that sometimes, there really is better living through chemistry.

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