A Lovely Spring Morning

I was up for a large part of last night feeling inadequate as a mother. (Here is where my mom rolls her eyes and thinks to herself that I need to just get over it.) There are a million little things, none of which in the bright light of day really make all that much sense, but in the middle of the night they loom large. This morning, we packed up and headed down to a friend's house.

Talking with my friend was just the antidote, because she's the first to admit that she doesn't ever feel like she has it all together, and that she has the same niggling doubts and fears that strike her. And while yeah, the end result is suck it up and move on, it's nice to know that it's normal - and that it's not going to ruin the kids (her kids are all lovely - I mean, they have their days like any kid, but they're good kids.) We don't get to see her all that often as she lives about an hour away, but she has six kids (one who is exactly the older boy's age) and they all play wonderfully with one another and are quick to absorb the elder boy into their fun.

When we got there, we headed to their neighborhood park. The two older of her boys elected to stay home and enjoy the quiet, so it was just the 5 younger kids (6 and under) and the two of us. They boys all played well, running hither and yon as we had the playground to ourselves. So the two of us got to sit and chat while the baby slept in his stroller nearby.

One of the things that was bothering me last night is the lack of close by friends for the elder boy. Hanging out with her helped me remember that having a few good friends who you see occasionally is sometimes better than having a lot of people you see all the time who aren't really friends when push comes to shove. Hopefully that's a lesson the boys can learn without too much pain.

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