Away I Go

Tomorrow I'm off to Vegas for a writing conference.

The closer to arrival I go, the more ambivalent I am about the whole shebang, but everything's paid for and I'll likely have a good time once I'm there and in the middle of it all.

But man. I'm not jazzed right this red hot second about going.

Hubby and the boys are looking forward to man week without mom. Though youngest, at least, is sad and says he'll miss me.

I suspect some of my ambivalence stems from the fact that my sister starts chemo and radiation on Wednesday. That will take place from this week til the first week of January, five days a week. If it works (which we won't really know until March as they wait 2-3 months after finishing before any re-imaging. Or, I guess if she dies we'll know it didn't work) then she has a 60% chance of recurrence within the next two years and if there is a recurrence, usually people die within 18 months.

I don't like the fact that I'll be across the country and completely unable to help. Not that I was really likely to be much help in the first place -- between the boys and the fact that she lives a solid hour away now, my ability to help was small. But it was at least possible.

I feel like a bad sister.