(Hey! Look! I figured out how to spell Caribbean. Mostly because I studied the 8-foot picture of Captain Jack Sparrow while waiting in line for 30 minutes. All in the name of spelling. Really. No, seriously, it could've had a picture of anyone on it.)
First let me just say this: Movie critics are stupid-heads.
Second, I'll recap that I enjoyed the 1st one but only felt the need to see it once (though my standard response to any exasperation at my actions still remains "Pirate!" to this day). The second one...was a big pile of plot filler and basically the heralds out shouting "Hear ye, hear ye, there will be a third movie in which some of this might actually come to make sense. Or at least one in which Jerry Bruckheimer will aim to part you from your cash yet again (successfully, we might add.)"
Third, I should add that if you go much further down, there are likely to be spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, then stop reading. I'll cut to the chase and let you know that I really liked this installation and feel that it's worth seeing, even at the ridiculous prices charged by theaters these days.
So, with great trepidation and very low expectations, I went to the movie. We got there at about 6:15 for a 7:00 showing (tickets purchased previously) and there was already a line all the way through the wiggle brackets and out into the lobby. Inside the line were no fewer than 8 people dressed up like pirates. Seriously dressed up like pirates. One went so far as to wear a Captain Jack hairpiece and hat. It was a little scary and we hoped that there would not need to be audience participation a la Rocky Horror. Though at least in a pirate movie it wouldn't necessarily involve dancing on stage in your undies.
This installation actually has a coherent plot. It does not consist of 8 thousand sub-plots all vying for the crown of "Plot" like the 2nd one did. The plot is very basic: resuce Jack, convene the Pirate Lords, deal with Davy Jones, Calypso, and the Brits once and for all. And thus they did. In nearly sequential order. Plus, there was only a limited amount of "romantic" tension (i.e. tension between two people who are supposed to be in love but have had a major miscommunication and so are at risk for throwing it all away because they're stupid and pig-headed.) For the most part, Orlando Bloom's character and Kiera Knightly's character aren't around eachother - then they are, and Jack explains how she killed him in the 2nd movie and caused the whole problem in the first place, then they fight...though they never really make up, but the next thing you know they're getting married during a fight, and then...well, then of course it gets messed up. But at least they're still kind of together. And she's not being stupid about Jack.
All said, I give it 4.5 stars out of 5. Losing the 1/2 simply because it was sooooo long.
Oh. And stay for the credits.
4 days ago
Thanks for this review (though I skipped the potential spoilers paragraphs). I agreed with your thoughts on #2 so your thoughts give me hope that I'll enjoy #3.
ReplyDeleteDitto what Jennifer said!(although admittedly the temptation was too much - I'm weak).
ReplyDelete