So. Where were we?

A list of random inevitably feels like a cop out. Which is ridiculous as I do realize that 1) I don't owe anyone anything here and 2) there are like four of you who actually come read here. And 3) See 1.

And so, despite the fact that I feel like I ought to do better, we're going with general randomness in paragraph, not bullet list, form.

Eldest seems to be continuing to do well at college. I say "seems to be" because in true boy-child form, he is...less than communicative. He texts occasionally when he needs me to send him something via Amazon. Or money. Generically speaking, I'm embracing this as him doing exactly as he should be doing and learning to thrive. Are my feelings somewhat hurt that he can't be arsed to send me the photo of his dorm room I asked for or a picture of him and his friends on their weekend jaunt to freaking Ohio (because what could be more college than randomly road tripping to Ohio for the weekend?) But whatever. I want him to fly and he seems to be doing so. I just hadn't expected that he'd forget we existed quite so quickly. 

Youngest is, slowly, adjusting to his brother being gone. There are still moments when he breaks down saying he misses his brother. I occasionally consider asking if he'd like me to be mean to him so he remembers what it's like when his brother is around. So far, I've managed to not do that - I realize it's not the correct response - but it's a strong temptation. There is considerably more peace in the house with the eldest gone and on one hand, the peace is nice, and on the other, I am frustrated and sad that my kids are not friends. I pray that eventually they at least move closer to appreciative enjoyment of one another when in the same orbit.

It is what it is.

The new school choice for youngest is going...well-ish. It's a lot more work than we had been doing - ever. So I'm gradually figuring out where to scale things and where to push. (Would I love him to annotate and summarize the US Constitution in writing? Absolutely. Am I content that we have a conversation about the major points and that he pipes up with comments that are relevant when he overhears a snippet of the Law & Order re-runs that have become part of my evening Netflix viewing? Yes. I am.)

We're meant to be learning Latin as part of it. So far, that has been the final subject of every school day and, as such, as been getting skipped because we're both just over it all. Will we get to it? Eh. I'm unsure. It's another of those "I'd love for him to learn it, but I'm not going to stress out about it either." In the overall scheme of things, I don't think he's college bound and I'm not sure how important it is for a mechanic or builder (his two current aspirations) to know Latin. (Of course if he suddenly decides he really wants to do it, we absolutely will. I always chase the subjects that intrigue him.)

Dad's house has yet to sell. The market is stupid and there's so much new construction that many would rather pay the same amount for a smaller house on a smaller lot that's brand new. Which I kind of get - we bought new when we first moved to the area (granted, that was in 2000 so it's been a minute) and there is something lovely about having new construction. On the other hand, our current home is not new and there's something lovely about having a house where a lot of the new construction kinks are already worked out. (Did I know about new construction kinks when we bought new? No. No I did not. I think that's probably the case for many new construction buyers. Ah well. Live and learn.) There is maybe an offer right now (it's a bizarre circumstance - they made a ridiculous lowball that our relator was actually embarrassed to tell us about - he prefaced it saying that he'd already replied with comps etc to let them know they were dreaming. Dad countered with his two price points that he'll accept (one with standard conditions is higher, one a bit lower that's as is. Neither anywhere near what was offered.) But then our relator came back asking for any receipts we had for the roof, A/C etc (to show when they were new) so we think maybe they're considering the "as is" price. None of us would be sad to just have the thing sold. (That said, none of us are willing to take a ridiculous offer just to be done. We've been kicking around the idea of making it a rental if it doesn't sell before much longer, but we also don't really want to be landlords, even with a management company doing the heavy lifting.)

And that's life in a nutshell. And it likely explains the large gap between posts. Because it's not scintillating. It's just...life.

Saturday Sundries

With apologies to Robbo, because I believe he originated the title.

Today's exciting undertaking is the taxes. Whee. Mostly this involves me sitting in the same room as hubs while he swears and then occasionally giving him a number from one of my various writing income or expense sources. Then I stick around while he does the actual income and occasionally throw chocolate at him.

It's good times.

After we finish that, since it's shaping up to be a lovely day, I think we may start doing some of the landscaping that needs doing after all the construction for Dad's addon. (Right now, we have huge swaths of mud. We would like to have something other than mud there but prefer something that doesn't need mowing. So we bought some wildflower and low-grow ground cover seed and will see what we see.

Beyond that, we need to organize in the basement under the addon to find the things Dad's missing. And I'd like youngest to clean his room, which I think is actually going to need a full reset wherein we drag everything but his bed and dresser OUT of the room, go through it and get rid of probably 90% of it, and then carefully load back in only what he's actually currently interested in. ADHD man. I'm reasonably convinced that the show Hoarders is really only people with severe unmedicated ADHD who also don't have family members to help them before it's an issue.

And this is the level of fun and excitement that's usual around here, which is why the dearth of blogging.

Various Sundries

I see the SAVE Act is out there in the news again (or so it seems from the ranting I was assaulted with when, against my better judgement, I opened up Faceplant to try to check a group.) I am pro-voter id - seems like a non-brainer to me. I'm also pro-people having a passport. Which would solve the problem. And our passports are not really any more (or less) expensive than the other countries in the world. (A quick google says there is basically nowhere that you can get a passport for free.) (And honestly I spent very little time on this because I just don't think my opinions on things in politics matter anymore. I live where the elected people of any ilk are all fundamentally on the other side to a huge extreme, so even calling/writing them is pissing in the wind. I do it. But that's more out of obstinacy than thinking it actually matters.)

I recall in one of my books, the heroine commented that she didn't even have a passport and my Kiwi editor remarked in the margin "How very American."

If the majority of the world requires its citizens to have a passport, why is that considered an undue requirement here?

Anyway, moving on.

We're in the throes of college registration details for the eldest and it causes a rather significant, and somewhat painful, clutch just under my heart. How did we get here?

I'm excited for him to spread those wings and fly, but I think it's not untoward that I'm also worried and nervous and just...a little melancholy. I'm gonna miss him. Even though I know he won't miss us - and he shouldn't. Just the times they are a-changin'.

Speaking of changin' - the extension for Dad is basically finished (final inspection done, tweaks thereafter have been made (still to code, just avoiding bureaucracy b/c changing midstream is hard)) and we're meeting with a moving company on Monday for an estimate to get him over here. It's getting real.

Betwixt the two, is it any wonder that the school days nightmares have started up again? No. No it is not.

Yay, stress. Or something.

Anyway, twill all be good in the end and I'm focusing on that rather than on the impending 2 year anniversary of losing my sister. I don't want to be that person who, in a very maudlin fashion, memorializes the death of her loved ones. But the fact is, two seems harder than one (I feel like maybe that was true with Mom, too) and I hate it. 

Grief. She is a b*.

So, where were we?

Not, in fact, the pit of despair.

I have, of late, been thinking "Oh, I should blog about that." And then, when I finally have a moment with my laptop, I either can't remember what it was or I have eleventy one other things that need doing and so don't get to the blog.

None of it, of course, is earth shattering.

Youngest is actually doing amazingly well without meds. Now that the adderall is completely out of his system? He's much less angry. Is he still easily distracted? Yes. Is school still a little hard? Also yes. But I like this version of him a lot and I'm pleased that he's figuring out ways to control himself without needing the meds.

To be clear, I am 100% pro-meds if they are doing what you need them to do. They were a HUGE help for us for a long time. This is not me saying not to use meds. Ever. Take alllll the meds if they help.

I have also returned to progressives. I gave them a whack two years ago and ended up getting carsick while driving wearing them. Not super bueno, especially when you live off a windy, two-lane road. This time round, I went to Costco instead of using my eye dr. I don't know if it's that I'm older or if Costco just makes their progressives differently/better, but it's been a dream. And I love not spending my life moving glasses off and on (and even when off I was starting to not be able to read as well as I would have liked. Age is fun!)

Eldest is killing his senior year. He's finished the first of his four 8-week terms and is now on to his second. He's also working as a lifeguard (indoor pool, obviously) and we seem to have a gaggle of teens over here every time I turn around. 

Finally, we're talking about having younger boy try wrestling. We have a family friend whose son (who has similar struggles as younger boy) who says wrestling has been a lifesaver for him. So...I'm going to see if I can sell him on it. Maybe lacrosse in the spring? We shall see. But the boy needs more activity outlets than he manages on his own volition. 

Once a month random?

Feels like that's what this has devolved to. There are reasons and excuses, obviously. Some are time related. Others are "no one could possibly be interested" related. And then you should throw in some lethargy as well for good measure.

So, in no particular order, a recap:

• The hole outside has morphed into poured concrete walls for the basement of Dad's new add on. We're stalled there for some bureaucratic red tape, because of course we are, but the builder is hopeful that it'll get cleared up tomorrow and we'll be back in business.
• School kicks back off for both tomorrow. Eldest is in his senior(!) year and still doing the Liberty University online thing and loving it. He's really finishing up his AA in Biblical Studies not "high school" but terminology is hard when you homeschool Regardless, he's excited, already accepted to Liberty for next year, and winnowing down what he's looking at for the future.
• I'm so stinking proud of him I could die.
• Youngest is starting 8th. Still, thankfully, middle school because I'm not ready for them both to grow up! Although he's definitely doing that as well. I have maybe 1/8 of an inch on him still and fully expect that to go away the next time he sleeps past eleven am. We're sticking to more traditional homeschool with him for now. I'd love for him to do LUOA next year, but we'll have to see what we see. He definitely struggles more with academic things than his brother and will probably head in the direction of a trade. If you asked him today, he'd say he wants to be an auto mechanic. I'm 100% behind that choice if that's what he's into. He's very handy and good at hands on, so whatever he decides I'm sure he's going to do well. He has time to figure it out.
• Eldest puppy had several teeth removed as part of his dental cleaning and seems much happier overall. I'm trying to be better about brushing both of their teeth to avoid such problems going forward.
• I'm crocheting a blanket for a friend's daughter who is currently fighting a recurrence of lymphoma. I tried out the corner-to-corner method for fun and really enjoy it. I foresee it being my go-to for any future blanket projects.
• Youngest now has 3 weeks of ABA under his belt. I'm not sure what we're seeing in terms of results yet other than a lot of time in the car, but it's early days yet. I remain cautiously almost optimistic. Which is really as close to optimistic as I tend to get.

I won't promise to try harder to be back in less than a month, but I won't guarantee it won't happen, either.

Randomness

I keep logging in, thinking I should post something and then...don't. No good reason for it. But whatevs. Let's feed the beast, shall we?

• Last week, I spent six hours at the emergency vet with Sleep Pup the 2nd, fairly certain he'd been bitten by a snake. Many dollars later, we left with meds and probable diagnosis of a hornet sting and, apparently an allergy to same. He's all better now - no more swollen, no more pain. But good grief.
• Because the dogs, I guess, vie for superiority, elder Sleepy Pup gets his teeth cleaned this week. Because I was brushing them t'other day and a piece of a tooth came off. Which did not seem ideal. So yeah. Yay.
• Speaking of the pupps, SP2nd came trotting in for bedtime last night with a hunk of bird -- crow? -- wing dangling out both sides of his mouth. According to the hubs, my shriek had him convinced that snake zombies were attacking.
• Dogs can be gross, is really all I'm getting at.
• Eldest boy took the ACT on Saturday. He's convinced he did horribly, but he always says that, so I shall be optimistic until we get the actual scores. The beautiful thing about his chosen school is that they superscore (and why was this not a thing when I roamed with dinosaurs, I ask? Also, they can use a calculator??) So we have a good strategy in hand for maxing out his final score. It's really all about financial aid (he's already been accepted) but that still feels rather important.
• Youngest boy likes to go to the bird cage and whistle at the birds. Hubby was trying yesterday morning and his whistle had broken. I said to him, "Youngest is the whistler. And I am whistler's mother." And hubby did not get my reference and it was then I remembered I'm a nerd full of facts that I think are common knowledge but that are actually obscure, I guess?
• Hubby's dad eloped (I've gone through the whole thing about this, haven't I?) in the middle of June. We have still not met the woman in question, though we were down that way and asked them to come to dinner, but they declined because "her family might be scheduling something and we wouldn't want to miss it." Even though her family is local and we are not. But yeah. We realize our priority is lower than Kelvin. Anyway, yesterday, father-in-law asked hubby to help him set up a zoom with his siblings so they could meet the new wife that way. I asked hubs, are we going to do the same? He just shrugged. Because apparently it is more important that the siblings meet her than, you know, his actual child.
• It makes me furious. 
• Hubby, however, does not seem to care. So I am letting it go. Because I'm really only angry on his behalf. I don't care about meeting the woman. Or seeing father-in-law ever again, honestly. After nearly 30 years married, I have finally reconciled myself to the fact that he hates me and it's never going to change. So yay?

That about sums it all up. And now you see why I haven't bothered to post. 

General Malaise, Reporting for Duty

I keep popping into the dashboard and staring at the new post button and then asking myself, do I actually have anything worth rambling about?

The short answer is no.

But when has that stopped me?

(It actually stops me quite a lot. So I guess that's a dumb question. But it didn't stop me today.)

Both boys are done with school. I'm making youngest do math through the summer because he needs to solidify his facts still. He has them, he just has a hard time accessing them. So more drill. Whee.

Eldest was able to get his transcript shipped off to Liberty (his #1 choice for college.) (Also currently his only choice. I'm working on getting him to broaden those horizons a little just in case.) So his application is in progress. He's going to take the ACT in July (and then probably again in September). They don't require it, but they do have scholarships based on your scores available, so it's worth doing. Plus it's just worth him remembering how to do standardized tests. His test taking skills are not always amazing.

Eldest has also, possibly, landed a job lifeguarding. I'm cautiously optimistic. I need him to have more to do with himself. And also to be able to stop giving him money constantly. 

Youngest...is back on the struggle bus. We're switching his meds again (I feel like I've said all this already, but who knows?) and that's always less fun than it seems like it should be. (And it doesn't seem like it should be fun at all. So yeah.) It's been a rough two weeks. Three? Who even remembers?

We might actually be making progress on getting the permits for the addition now. Hubby has resumed his optimism. I...have not.

I had a really deep funk of missing Mom and my sister. It's easing some, but it's not gone. The biggest impact with these is in my writing. I just...can't seem to make myself open the document. And I find myself wondering if it's time to hang up the keyboard. Because really, who would care? 

I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens. The boys are off on a camping trip this weekend and I ought to spend a good bit of time writing. I even sort of *want* to do that. We'll see if it actually happens.

Mother's Day Random

Happy Mother's Day to those who celebrate.

I'm not saying I don't celebrate, but I also really don't care one way or t'other. I find having low (read: realistic) expectations helps keep it a pleasant day. So I suspect tomorrow will be much the same as any other Sunday: church, lunch with the fam and my Dad thereafter, and a lazy afternoon. Really, there's not much (anything?) to complain about there.

I may try to see if the boys will consent to a board or card game or two rather than disappearing for the afternoon. It being Mother's Day and all. We shall see. I have a veerrrrry low tolerance for heavy sighs and resigned participation. It's not that I expect them to jump for joy whilst screaming "Yay!" but I would love them to at least keep their feeling that it's torturous on the inside.

That may not be realistic given they're teens.

There's a new pope. (Should that be capitalized? Probably?) Not being Catholic, I have very few feelings on the matter, although I do hope that this one stays truer to the actual Bible rather than the way the culture feels the Bible ought to be. But then, I feel that way about any leader of any church claiming to represent Christ. Some do better than others. Which seems to be as it has always been and as it's likely to always be until Christ returns and calls believers home.

The bird continues to provide more joy than is reasonable. I think she needs a friend. Hubs just laughs at me. But really. Doesn't everyone need a friend? Sleepy Pup the first is sloooowly starting to realize that he needs to stop staring at her cage as if he might get a chance to eat her someday. Sleepy pup the second couldn't possibly care less about her. He was raised on a farm with chickens and other animals, so he just kind of glance over now and then with a very canine shrug. Apparently nurture, in this case, can override nature.

Eldest has finished 11th grade. It's his first complete dual enrollment year, so he's half-way to his Associates. He's a solid B student because he puts in very little effort. When I mentioned that once his final grades are in, we can send in his transcript and he can finish his application to his top choice school, his eyes went wide and he said, "Wait. I don't send in my senior one?" 

"No." Says I.

"If I'd known that, I would have worked harder." Says he.

I had to leave the room. He did know that. I know I told him many times. His father told him many times. I believe his response was along the lines of, "I'm never going to be someone who prioritizes school over friends."

And like, that's a choice I guess. But it's now coming home to roost. I suspect he'll still get in (at least I certainly hope so), but there's a lot of face palming that I do in private. Because dude. Flip side, maybe he'll get serious about actually doing the ACT prep that I keep trying to send him.

Youngest is, essentially, finished with his school. We've done his end of year testing and are just finishing up our history book. But I'm going to have him read and do an AI math tutor over the summer. He actually enjoys the math tutor (it was developed at SpaceX) so it's more like playing to him. If it finally drills into his brain some of the things I've been trying to get him to memorize, I'm for it.

That's probably enough random for the day. I'm meant to be writing while I have an empty house (the boys are off at a Trail Life project and I'm unsure when they'll be home. But probably before I'm ready for it.) So I should get off and do something more productive than this.

Saturday Random

The boys are off camping today (well, last night, they'll be home later this afternoon), and I'm procrastinating writing (I've been writing, but it's break time and whatever) so a little bit of random to pass the time.

• I did manage to read The King's Messenger by Susanna Kearsley. More than that, I ended up enjoying it quite a lot. Even though it was a slow start and two historical timelines instead of one modern and one historical. I'll definitely re-read it (which is more than I can say about her most recent before this one, which I am still confused by. Although maybe a re-read would unconfuse me? Unsure.)
• For now, I have set aside The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I just...don't care about anyone in it. I had thought I might watch the movie (breaking my general rule of read the book first), but then realized the main girl is the new Snow White and...meh. I'm not going to willingly support even tangentially someone who thinks it's in a reasonable plan to be insulting about Israel while standing next to an Israeli.
• A friend and I went to dinner last night (her hubby and son were on the same camping trip) and it was delightful. Afterward, we wandered through Barnes & Noble for a little bit. I enjoy bookstores -- the smell of books, the feel of them. But when it comes to reading, I really do prefer my Kindle. 
• I guess I should have said this was a bookish random, as that's what it's turning into.
• Took the elder Sleepy Pup to the vet yesterday and he's healthy and happy. So that's good. He still is not a fan of the vet, though, and grumbles enough that they make him wear a muzzle. (I'm fine with that. He snapped at a tech and that's not okay.) Yesterday, though, he didn't growl or even act like he might snap, so that was nice.
• Younger Sleep Pup continues to be a puppy. Man...he needs to be worn out every day or he's a nightmare at bedtime.

I believe that might be it. It's scintillating around here, as you see.

Marching Forth

No one around here appreciates my instructions to March forth today. Then again, eldest is also getting tired of me saying, "Hi hungry, I'm Mom." Every time he tells me he's hungry. Flip side? I'm tired of him telling me he's hungry. He knows where the kitchen is and how to make himself a snack. It's honestly strange how he only wants to talk to me when he wants something from me. Outside of those timeframes? He acts as though it's the Spanish Inquisition.

Which, of course, no one expects.

I have a piano tuner here today, finally.

After we moved (has it been three years now? I think it has. Oops.) I wanted to let it settle and acclimate a bit before getting a tuner out. But after six or eight months, I called the guy we've been using and we had, apparently, crossed juuuussst over the line of how far he was willing to travel.

Fair enough.

So I scoured some of the area FB groups and found some recommendations and...none of them wanted to come this far either. (I had this same issue with mobile dog groomers. They say they service my area. Their little map on their site SHOWS my street...but when I reach out, nope. Too far. Whatever.)

ANYWAY. After six or seven attempts, I got frustrated and life got all lifey and I totally put the piano tuning on the back burner because I'm the only one who plays it, and I could deal with a sour note here or there if I needed to.

But I finally remembered that I needed to do it in...December? And a little Googling turned up this guy and he keeps pretty busy, it seems, because today was the earliest he could come.

Which I mean, that's fine. It's not going anywhere.

But hey, the piano's getting tuned.

Youngest, of course thinks this is the best thing ever because it allows him to watch the piano be taken apart and then ask the man, "Have you ever seen a huge tarantula in the forest?" Because of course that's what you ask a piano tuner.

I shooed him downstairs to play. 

The Sleepy Pups are trapped in the office with hubby because they want nothing more than to bark their little schnauzer heads off at him. Because schnauzers.

Anyway. None of this has to do with Marching Forth, but whatever. I mostly figured it was time to pop over and say, "I'm not dead!"

Chugging Along

I've apparently lost the ability to ramble frequently about the inconsequential these days. Or I don't have time. Or some combination thereof (plus whatever else might be impacting things.)

And so I bring you, instead, a little Random Thursday:

• I took Faceplant off my phone (I think I mentioned that) but still pop on occasionally on my laptop to double-check my business page and see if any of the groups I'm in have something useful. Boy is that almost always a mistake. I don't know what the deal is with my friends, but everyone is losing their collective minds about something. All sides. And it's just all meanspirited and ugly and...yeah. Close that bad boy right back down.
• It's been a rough couple of days with the youngest. Not sure what's changing, although he's been eating and sleeping more - so maybe a growth spurt? Dunno. Also don't love it. But presumably this too shall pass.
• We're coming up on a year of my sister's passing. I don't love that.
• Speaking of the above, apparently when you file taxes for the deceased you also have a separate form that you need to include to prove that you get the refund. Which kind of makes sense, and I thought we did that, but according to the IRS we did not, so I did that form today and had to call to figure out where to send it, because the letter and envelope they sent were not so helpful in that regard. Honestly, I didn't remember her getting a refund, so who knows?
• We still have some spots of snow lingering. Mostly shaded areas (duh) but I'm not sad to see it melting. The boys aren't thrilled. And their enormous igloo still stands, so that's fun. But as much as I love that we got a good snow that stuck around a bit, I'm also glad to see it go.
• I've been invited to an event in South Dakota in September. I of course then spent an hour looking at fun road trips that we could take to and from said event. It'd be 80 hours of driving all told (planned a different route there from the one back) and would encompass Yellowstone, Devil's Tower, Branson, the Laura Ingalls Wilder museum, Hot Springs Arkansas, and Graceland to name a few. We won't do it. But it was fun to plan. (I told hubby about it and he thought it sounded great until he hit the 80 hours in the car thing. Unless we're spreading that over 40 days, he's never going to buy in. And that's just one of many reasons it wouldn't work.)
• I also spent time this morning drooling over a 14 night cruise from Fort Lauderdale to Barcelona. And it's CHEAP, which kills me. Like less than airfare to Barcelona cheap. Plus it stops in the Azores and takes you through the Strait of Gibraltar. I feel like it would be a fantastic way to spend two weeks (and the a week in Barcelona? Then fly home? Or...so many options! If only time and money were free.)
• The big takeaway here is that I really would love to go somewhere that isn't traveling for funerals.

And then somehow it was mid-August

 Not sure how the last weeks got away from me, but there we have it.

Eldest and hubby went off to camp and came back after having much fun. Eldest got a trip to the emergency room at camp because he didn't dodge a tree fast enough while chasing the one who captured their flag. He's fine, but his team lost and he's bitter about that.

Youngest is doing well with PT and I can already see some improvement in his pronation, so that's good.

School starts up next week. I didn't plan to start the same day as public, but there we are. It just worked out. I'm ready. Not sure either of the boys are, but oh well.

Eldest is all dual enrollment this year (and next) so only has 2 classes each quarter. Hopefully they'll still be challenging enough that he sees that college isn't as easy as HS. Regardless, I'm excited to see him transitioning into this new educational era.

Things with the addition for my dad are gearing up. We got a survey done yesterday and received the official to scale plat today (why there wasn't one is a mystery for the ages, but whatever) which means permits and so forth can begin. Contracts and payments are all being handled. It's good times.

Have I mentioned that we're probably throwing a pool into the mix since we're spending all the money anyway? I'm very excited about that prospect for summers to come. Although friends with pools have cautioned me about snakes in the pool and...yeah. Let's just pray for not.

Anyway. You're all caught up. Onward!

A Little Random for Tuesday

The oven is in, and it is glorious. The Depot of Home dropped it off, but we had not paid for installation (because hubby said, "how hard can it be?"). So that evening, he and eldest, with a little supervision by me, got it installed with only minimal swearing when they had to pull it completely out of the hole and tweak the height of the supports before putting it back in. Apparently it's heavy? Who knew.

But it's quiet and a joy to use. (So quiet. Honestly it'll be on and I'll just stand by it and listen. The old one's fan was so ridiculously loud you could hear it on the other floors of the house. I'm guessing maybe that was a sign of age now, rather than just how it is.)

The addition to bring Dad to live with us hit a big milestone today. (Have I talked about this? I feel like I have.) The architect and the contractor were over this morning with the big roll of blueprints for final tweaks and analysis prior to starting the permit process. Looks like, if all goes well (hahaha), Dad could be in by Christmas?

I think we'll get him over here and settled and then take the early months of the new year getting rid of things and fixing up his house before getting it listed in spring. None of us see a point in rushing. We'd all much rather pitch all the trash now rather than haul it over here to deal with later.

(Because I'm still reasonably certain I'm going to find stuff from Nana in the basement, and she died in the 80s.)

Youngest has started PT to try and fix the ridiculous over pronating that has plagued him his entire life. So far, I think I can already see progress. Maybe I'm delusional, but if so I'm okay with it. I just want him to be able to run without falling over.

Speaking of youngest, he won't be joining hubs and eldest at Trail Life camp. I'm bummed - there goes my week - but it's for the best. He's close. But also he just doesn't listen well enough yet. Le sigh.

And now you're caught up.

Teenagers, Auroras, and Bears*, Oh my.

*There were no bears.

Whelp. The eldest boy continues to astound and amaze with his teenageryness. Say what you will about how we were raised in the 80s, but honestly, I don't think I would have lived the first time I tried any of the crap he tries. Let alone not care about whatever consequence he received enough to keep him from trying it again.

And okay, maybe living under the constant threat of malicious wounding isn't the healthiest vibe for adult mental health, but I bet my parents' mental health did a lot better than mine is. (Matrix-y question of the day: Is my mental health horrible because of how I was raised or because of the children I am raising and would it be as bad if one of the two were different? Or are they unrelated at all? And is there a spoon?)

Eldest has meds he is meant to take in the am and different ones in the pm. I remind him verbally. I text him. I bring them to him and suffer the heavy sighs and eyerolls that accompany that action. And last week? Alllll the meds were taken on time. Yay. (Because we've reached the point that he loses his phone for 24 hours if he doesn't take them.)

Yesterday he took no meds. At all.

And I can verify five reminders from me to do so.

Today he is pleading to not lose his phone because he did so well last week. And all I think of is a response a la Professor Hathaway in Real Genius, "That was yesterday. What have you done for me today?"

Because okay? I'm glad you did the bare minimum asked of you last week. I don't really believe that I've raised him to expect an award for existing.

But not three minutes after a semi-heated conversation about WTF with the meds...he's up here asking me if he can go do all these extra things on Wednesday and Thursday with his friends. Things that, because he refuses to *&#^$&#* drive, I have to lug him to. 

I just...like...huh? (Que the Pet Shop Boys: What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?)

The auroras were, ostensibly, visible round these parts. We had lovely rain and thunderstorms both nights it was supposed to be a thing, so yeah. That's a no. It seems to be a recurring theme for astrological events for me. Leonids meteor showers? More fog than you've ever seen in your life. Eclipse? Cloudiest day on record. 

You get the idea.

Whatever. Faceplant had some lovely photos, so I will live vicariously through people in freaking TEXAS who got to see them instead.

I need a vacation.

Insert Maniacal Laughter Here

This is going to be scattered and ridiculous. Much like my brain these days. You've been warned.

Well, sometime over last weekend, sister took a rather dramatic dip and now spends the bulk of her time sleeping. In all, this is good, but I do wish Jesus would hurry up and take her home. Now more than ever. She is clearly uncomfortable, even in sleep, and Dad and I are both not sure what to do about that. When she's conscious, we encourage more pain meds, but what do you do when she's asleep? 

Beyond that, I got a random wild hair the other day (and it had been coming and going for a while, but I guess my impulse control is shot to heck right now) to buy organic, stone ground wheat from a small farm. So none of the bad fertilizers and such and back to good grain and yadda yadda. And so last week - week before? I have no concept of time - I gave sourdough a whirl with the new flour and hahahahaha. I did not read up on just how different this acts.

So today, we finally made it through all of the very, very dense first effort and I am trying again - now with much more hydration! - and we'll see what we see.

I might have over hydrated it now? I don't know.

A friend said, "Why not just use a tiny bit of the organic and mix with your regular bread flour" and like...that defeats the whole point? The brain goal for down the road is to buy wheat berries and grind them at home as needed. But yeah, I'm glad right now that I went this intermediate route first because I'm not sure I have it in me to keep going. Healthier is good, but not when it means life is miserable trying to make it work.

Youngest is loving my preoccupation and general inability to do anything because it means his school has been slapdash at best lately. We spent a whole day last week building lego. And I can make a case for motor skills and engineering and so forth if I cared to. The reality is, he's not going to fall behind. It's going to be fine. But yeah, I feel the mom guilt.

Eldest is trucking along with his, which is good. And I am even managing to stay on top of making sure he's doing well (vs phoning it in). So gold star?

Last week, rather than being in Hawaii (which was originally scheduled before everything with my sister went sideways), hubby was home at his boss's insistence. I appreciated that. But he was still in the office every day for 14 hour days. And really at the end of it all, I have realized I am incredibly spoiled and like having him at home. I don't know how we could go back to a full time in the office job at this point. Thankfully it doesn't seem like that's anywhere on the horizon, but yeah. It'd suck.

There was more to say when I started this but it's gone now. So probably super interesting. Or not.

Most likely not.

Where were we, oh that's right.*

Well, I was wrong, it seems and they will, in fact, kick someone out of a phase 1 clinical trial. Sister is officially removed owing to "too much progression." I don't believe she has the PET results yet, but at the meeting with her oncologist, he broke that news. He also said he doesn't think she'll die this year.

Of course, he thought the chemo she did whenever this all started had a good chance of "cure." So really, medicine is all guessing and positivity.

We'll see what happens. All I know right now, is that she has not kept much of anything down for the past four days? Maybe five. Her theory is that it's abdominal pain related (as she is in distinct and overwhelming pain in her abdomen.) 

Yay.

In happier (?) news, the boys all went camping this weekend. They were to have gone Friday through today, but owing to potential flooding at the campsite Friday night, they went ahead and waited until Saturday (yesterday) to head out. There was to be a 10 mile hike and then the overnight.

All I know is that it was dang cold last night and I'm glad I wasn't shivering in a tent. I don't understand the allure of camping on the best of days, and this was decidedly not the best of days.

When they get home, I'm sure they'll all say it was great, but yeah. I'm grateful that I do not have to go along on these things.

I spent my day of silence in the house knocking out quite a few words on the book that I am woefully behind on. (Which since I indie pub, it's not as if there's a true deadline, but I had my own deadlines and have missed them and it's aggravating. So there's that.)

And now, speaking of camping, I guess I'll take myself off to church as said boys just texted they are only now leaving the site. I had thought they'd be back so we could go together. Alas, no.

*spot the quote

Miscellany

Press on nails are off, and boy wasn't that an adventure?

I am just not designed for girly nails, even though I liked how they looked. I did not love how they felt (although to be fair, it was no worse than nail polish - but it all just feels heavy and suffocating on my fingertips. I realize I'm weird.)

Will I do it again? Eh. Unlikely at this point.

For all I struggled to keep them on, when I decided F-it, let's take them off...they would not budge. 

Because of course not.

~~

Gum graft #1 has been completed. I go for a two-week followup next week. I am...unhappy with how much more this go-round hurt (and for longer) than the first. It's like I'm older or something. 

I have just hit the point where I am able to go a day without needing painkillers of some variety.

Not really looking forward to doing the other side. Yay for bad DNA.

~~

Halloween approaches. Neither boy feels the desire to dress up and gather candy, though eldest is headed to a party. I can't say I'm sad about this turn of events, especially now that we're out in la boonies. I don't know how we'd trick or treat other than loading up in the car and descending on some unsuspecting neighborhood and that...I mean no.

~~

Speaking of eldest, he has finally given into my demands that we practice driving. He's getting better, though he hugs the right side of the lane too much and then overcorrects. Which we're working on but man. I wish there were more easily navigable streets with lines on them other than major thoroughfares around here. Because he needs lines practice but also I don't really want to do it at 50 mph. Or even 45.

We'll figure it out. And he's doing well. It's just a tad nailbiting.

~~

And I guess, in the inestimable words of Porky Pig, "That's all folks."

Sunday Randomness

Will it surprise anyone to know that all the passports have now arrived? I mean, I'll be honest, I'm a little surprised. I did smirk a tad that mine and the boys came a good week before hubby's. But hey, we all have them now so let the vacationing commence.

Or something.

Of course, the latest news on that front is that it'll probably be "early in 2024."

Uh huh.

Anyway, today was "promotion Sunday" at church, wherein all the kids move up to their new grade classrooms. Makes sense as school starts tomorrow in the county.

With great trepidation and after a mostly sleepless night last night, we sent youngest off to the 6th grade class (now a happy part of youth and out from under the children's minister who at this moment is considered an unsafe person for my family as far as I'm concerned.) I hung out around the fringes just to see that he'd do well and...he did.

Honestly, I am encouraged. Still also nervous. But maybe - please please please - we'll be able to get it to work this year.

We start here at the Sleepy School for Misbehaved Boys tomorrow as well. Eldest is a sophomore and is looking forward (ish) to his online school. Youngest, as said previously, is in 6th grade. My goal over the next three years of middle school is to get him to a place where he can do high school online like his brother. Probably not dual enrolled, but the rigor of the online diploma would be a real win for him.

We shall see.

We had one absolutely love day of temperatures last week and it left me ready for more. Bring on fall, stat! But of course, we're back in the upper 90s today and all this coming week. So bleh. Still, it was nice to remember that it can avoid grossness when it wants to around here.

The Longest Day

Happy Summer Solstice! (Or winter, I suppose, should you be living on the other side of the equator.)

The longest day finds itself awash with dark clouds and persistent rain. I'm not complaining. It's also cooled things down.

I had a six-month checkup for the freckle on my retina today. It's fine and should not be cause for worry, though we'll keep looking at it annually.

Whee.

Part of that checkup was having my eyes dilated. So I was doubly grateful for the rain on my way home from said appointment. I'm sure I looked ridiculous to others driving about with sunglasses on in the pouring rain, but whatever. My eyes didn't hurt.

Eldest is away for his week-long mission trip. They're doing construction of some sort - roofing, perhaps. I get a text each morning to say he's alive and I'm leaving it at that and reminding myself that my parents could get a postcard when I went to camp, but usually I made it home before the mail managed delivery. So they'll call if there's an issue and I'll leave it at that.

Youngest isn't quite sure what to do with himself as an only, but he doesn't hate it.

All in all, today hasn't been a bad day to usher summer officially in.

Sunday Sundries

A little bulleted list of random for your Sunday morning perusal:

• I've been slowly reading the Gray Man books (by Mark Greaney) and enjoying them greatly. They made a Netflix movie of the first one and it was enjoyable. Then I realized there were books and that made me much happier. The movie has...minimal relationship to the first book, but such is as it is. That said, if you like spy-type-thrillers, these are enjoyable.
• Hubs and Eldest were camping this weekend in the downpour. I laugh. And laugh. Youngest and I have enjoyed being safe and dry at home.
• My sister's cancer has decided it is not, in fact, in remission and is, in fact, going to progress so much that she has been removed from the clinical trial. What options exist (and of those what, if any, she'll do) will be looked at this week. I am...numb?
• We started youngest on an SSRI in addition to his ADHD meds and the difference it has made! No more 3 hour meltdowns! He can actually pull himself back and avert the meltdown somewhat on his own (he still needs some help/guidance, but I believe in time he will master it on his own.) I was skeptical about adding it, but oh my word. I am grateful for the common grace of pharmaceuticals.
• Today is the last regular Awana meeting. Next week is the award ceremony. And then...well, after that I believe I am stepping down. It is bittersweet, but feels necessary.

I believe that wraps it up. We aren't making church today (reference half the fam camping), but I think we're still trying for lunch with my dad, so I ought to go and get ready so it's not a rush.