Someone, Please Invent a Time Machine

Dear 2002 Me,

Sometime around this time frame this year, you and your sister are going to have a brainstorm. This brainstorm will involve a weekend project to redecorate mom's powder room while she and dad are gone for the weekend. Please, for the love of all that's holy, do not go through with it.

First off, mom will hate it. She will hate the color you choose. She will hate the border you put up. She will hate that you spent any time and money whatsoever applying both of the other items that she hates. But she will not let you fix it. No matter how you offer, she will just say it's fine and forbid you to touch it.

Now, if you go ahead and blow me off about just saying no in the first place, I implore you, please just fix it as soon as you realize that mom hates it. (This should be about two seconds after she gets home and sees it and remarks on how much she hates it. But she appreciates your thoughtfulness in wanting to do something for her!) If you don't fix it right away, you will have to spend the next 9 years (that's NINE years) thinking of the powder room as the room that mom hates.

Also? You will spend the better part of four hours on a lovely spring day cursing yourself roundly as you try and scrape off the blankety-blank border because mom and dad have moved and are trying to get the house ready to be put on the market and the realtor also hates the powder room.

Honestly, in nine years as you are just starting to realize how much older your back muscles are than they used to be, you'll thank me.

Sincerely,
2011 Me