Y'all.
Part of me wonders just when, exactly, the hits will stop coming. And yet I say that and it's not as if there's really anything new. Maybe it's just the time factor - I suspect one can only live with excessive amounts of stress for so long before one finds oneself one good bout of hysterical laughter from the edge.
We've started back up with school. It's going about as well as school ever goes with kids who would rather be doing just about anything else. But we're finding the groove again. That has to be a positive, right?
Eldest starts with his new piano teacher at the end of the month. I decided I didn't mind the drive since she's up where the youngest does speech and OT so we'll just schedule for the same day and no big. So today I go do do just that and...they no longer have a speech therapist on the day eldest has piano. So as of now, we'll be trekking up three days a week instead of two. (It's remotely possible that we're going to drop speech, and if that happens then maybe it'll work out for us again. And maybe we'll not have OT twice a week at some point too. But that's a lot of maybes right now. Right now it's just three days of trekking because we apparently have nothing better to do with our time.)
A friend asked me if I was signing the boys up for swimming lessons again. I just laughed and laughed and laughed. I mean, I would like to. They would like it. But that's three hours out of another day and there really are only so many hours in the week. So it's become another "I guess we'll see."
Which is basically where mom is hovering. Some days she's doing well. Other days the end seems imminent. The ups and downs are harder, I think, than just a sudden loss, but I imagine that has hardships of its own that I simply don't see because it's not what I have.
If you need me, I'll be the one rocking in the corner.
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