The Meal Train Phenomenon

Yesterday, I had the, we'll go with "honor", of setting up a meal train for a woman who works in Awana and who just had relatively major surgery.

I should probably start with a disclaimer. I don't have an issue with taking people food. It's nice. It can be helpful.

BUT

I distinctly dislike setting up something like this and then emailing everyone so that there's a perceived sense of obligation. "Oh hey, we set up a meal train for Snickerdoodle, make sure you sign up!" Well, what if I don't want to? What if I'm busy? What if I'm suffering from a mind-clogging depression that makes getting food on the table for my family enough of a chore that I can't even face it most days, but no one knows? And I'm sure all the coordinators would say, "Oh no! It's only if you feel like it." But the obligation is there. And it is heavy.

I feel like food for people who need it should either a) come spontaneously from the hearts of people who love the person in need and want to help or b) come from a church ministry set up specifically to handle this that is staffed by people whose spiritual gift is taking food to the infirm. I don't feel like it should be something that gets done because it "ought to."

And I will fully admit that some of my feelings on the matter probably come firmly from the fact that no one has ever even OFFERED to bring us a meal. Ever. We had two infants, but because I didn't go through labor and childbirth, there was no need (per the church people). You know what? I might not have been physically injured, but I was tired and adjusting and really would have loved to have two or three nights where I didn't have to try not to burn myself while making food while sleep deprived. If I was struggling, the comments were "Oh, you should order in." And so we did.

So while I am making a meal and taking it to this woman tomorrow, because I can't be in charge of the damn thing and not, what I really want to do is drop off a Dominos coupon and phone number and say hey, here's how we coped when we needed help. Deal with it.

I realize it's not my finest moment.