Hilarious Irony

You remember the meal train madness for my friend recovering for surgery? (Scroll down a bit if you don't.) Remember how I lamented that when I would have warmly welcomed meals when we had newborns no one even offered? Well, with mom's passing, they offered. I declined.

See, it's the little things in a day that get me through right now. Knowing I'll have 30ish minutes in the kitchen doing something completely normal every evening is something I've started to look forward to. Because I can focus on that and not the aching hole in my chest.

Still they offered again.

I declined. Again. Politely even.

Offer. Decline. Offer. Decline.

Seriously, please stop offering. I get that their hearts are in the right place and that they mean well, but please don't take away the one normal thing that remains untouched in my life right now.

Two people have dropped off meals this week, usually with explanations that go something like this, "I know you said you didn't want them, but I'm Southern, this is what we do."

SO many things that I could say. (And did, internally. Externally I believe I managed to grimace and say thank you.)

But it got me thinking that there's some element here that, applied on a larger scale, is exactly what's responsible for whatever element of "rape culture" we have. Because you know what? No means no. Whether you're talking about touching someone or bringing them a meal. If we are not at a place where we will respect the stated wishes of another person, regardless of how we feel about their stated wishes, then we've lost our grip on a big part of what it means to live in community.

No means no.

(And of course I understand that an unwanted meal is not the same thing as sexual assault, but the root of the issue is. They wanted to do something that I did not want and they did it anyway because "It's just what they do.")