Choosing Joy

I'll be the first to admit that I tend toward Puddleglum. I do. But I fight it.

I've been spending a lot of time helping my sister move out of her too-big-for-her home into a 2 bedroom condo. It's a big change. Huge. I get that. I get that it's emotionally exhausting. I get that it's scary. And hard. And different. And in some ways potentially awful.

But I also get that it's a good thing. And that God has shown His hand so clearly in orchestrating the move (her house sold without ever having to be listed! She didn't have to do ANY fixup on it and still made enough on it that she can pay cash for the condo, pay off all her debt, and have leftovers! Etc.) And seeing that, thinking about that, I am frustrated that all she sees is the dark cloud. And she lashes out at anyone who tries to point out even the tiniest sliver of silver.

Mental illness is a factor here. I get that, too. And she's doing so much better now than she was a year ago. And that was a million times better than where she was two years ago. She's on an upward swing - which is again the picture of God showing up. (And getting rid of the abusive husband. That was a huge help. No one misses him.) So I try to remind myself to give her grace. And then more grace. And then more, even if I have to dig around in the pit of my stomach to find it. Because we all need that sometimes. (Maybe a lot of the time.)

But it's frustrating because I wish she would try to choose joy. To even once swallow back the negative and find something positive to say instead. Because as much as I know it's hokey MLM you can do it rah rah, it's still also true -- what you focus on becomes your mindset.

I wish her mindset was joy.

I wish MY natural mindset was joy.

I'm working on it. In the meantime, I'm reminding myself that life is hard and family is complicated. But mostly, given the choice, I wouldn't trade it.