Overwhelmed

Honestly.

I'm not really sure where, even to start. I am simply and completely overwhelmed.

The trip to Vegas for the conference didn't help overly. Introvert + an event designed for networking does not really equal a recipe for excitement. Of course, missing out on hubby and kid vacation time had me wondering if I'd done the right thing by going for the entire time. And really...I don't know that I learned anything so amazing as a takehome that I can say with any amount of surety that it was worth my time.

But I went. I came back. And it's good to be home.

Everyone survived and the house was insanely clean when I got back. Honestly, I'm tempted to put hubby in charge of all cleaning forthwith.

Beyond that, my sister has started her 2nd week of chemo and radiation today. (Chemo is on Wednesdays and also radiation on Weds followed by 4 days of just radiation.) So far she's doing okay with it. She says mostly just tired. Some nausea and pain but not insurmountable. But her white blood cell count is up, which is no bueno. And her blood sugar is up. Also no bueno. So. They're keeping an eye.

My in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving next week. Sister may stay home - don't blame her if she does (I'm rarely up for the cacophony that is Thanksgiving around here with my family plus hubby's - throw in that my MIL seems to take great joy in asking probing questions and belaboring anything medical so she can then quote a Psalm to you and share a story that she feels one ups your medical dilemma and...well, I'd stay home if I could.)

I mean, I will be at home.

But they will also be here.

We are, again, boycotting turkey because no one in our immediate family actually likes it and I'm officially old enough that I don't give a damn about what anyone else who's coming wants. They'll gripe. But they always gripe. And I guess I figure since I'm going to be wrong anyway, I might as well be wrong while eating something I actually enjoy.

And then there's the madness with youngest. We have his final test on Friday and then I guess it's 2 weeks for results on all the various things they ran him through. I...don't know what to say I hope for. If I'm honest with myself, I already know what they'll say. He has autism. And learning delays. And really what I hope they'll have beyond that is something that will point me in the right direction for finding tools to help him.

I keep going back to the realization that everything in my life seems to be another instance of God asking me to set aside my expectations and trust Him to do things His way even though they look nothing like what I imagined or want.

It's hard.

But I will try.