Letters from the Land of Overwhelmed

I feel like that's where I reside permanently these days. It doesn't make for scintillating blogging. Or talking in person, for that matter. It is what it is and I imagine this too shall pass and so on and so forth but blergh.

That's really the crux of the issue. Everything is just a little extra blergh.

Hubby has a stiff, sore neck. Always has had. He has very mild scoliosis that they said wasn't bad enough to treat when he was younger. And now at forty something it just gets worse and worse. When time works in our favor (hahahahaaa), he gets massage and that helps (the therapeutic sort not the day spa fluffy kind), but he's been crazy busy and so has the massage therapist (she's a friend of ours and her youngest is having some significant issues right now that are taking up all her time.) So I scour various pillows and spend entirely too much trying to find something that might provide relief whilst he sleeps.

This latest one seems to be helping.

But it makes him snore much more vigorously than he was previously.

So he's sleeping well. I am not.

It would be a little easier if we still had a guest bed, but littlest wanted a better bed (and it was time for him to have one, the one he had was falling apart) so there was shuffling and laughing about how we never have guests anyway and now I have little one's old mattress on the floor of the library if I need to escape the bedroom in hopes of some sort of snooze.

Sleep deprivation doesn't help with feelings of overwhelm, just fyi.

My sister had her follow up with the radiation oncologist today. He seemed cautiously optimistic -- he didn't feel any hard tumor, but there is scar tissue so because of the placement of same she'll have to do some therapy for the next several years to keep the scar tissue from causing problems on its own.

None of it changes the fact that she doesn't understand why she's still alive (nor does she particularly want to be) and it adds burden and pressure to know someone you love is struggling like that and you're completely helpless to do anything at all to aid.

Dad continues to fade, losing interest in the things that even a month ago were topics of conversation and ways to fill his days.

Throw in youngest and his struggles and just the general angst of being 12 that goes for the eldest and it's Overwhelm City.

Breathe.