Things that are hard

Apparently, for whatever reason (does one need a reason? Probably not.) it's time to miss Mom again. Or more. Since it never really goes completely away, but it has eased up.

It is no longer easing up.

It's easy to say why, but it's not so easy to do anything about it that would qualify as anything other than wallowing around in gloom and misery.

Thus the whys of things that are hard today:

• It's World Ovarian Cancer day. Seriously, I'm not sure why this needs to be a day. I mean, I get that it's good to have awareness and stuff. But it still sucks.
• Mother's Day is Sunday
• Mom's birthday would be Monday
• There are little things in meat space that normally I would talk to Mom about and she would make me feel better and now I don't have her for that and consequently there's really no one to talk to about them.

And I tried to talk to hubby about these things - but the reality is, he is not good at that sort of thing. He knows this. He is trying to work on it. But he still sucks at it. In the past, he would try to fix things. And yes, that was annoying. So he's stopped that. But now he just says "I'm sorry" and awkwardly pats me on the head and...I think I'd rather have the attempts at fixing or minimizing it because those, at least, felt like he actually, to quote my mom here, gave a good God damn. What I get now comes across as "This is awkward and horrible for me because I don't know what to do so please shut up."

I love him. But men as a species are confusing.

And I'm trapped in a house with four of them ('cause even the dog is male. But he, at least, understands how to comfort. So I guess I'll make an exception for him.)