Insert Maniacal Laughter Here

This is going to be scattered and ridiculous. Much like my brain these days. You've been warned.

Well, sometime over last weekend, sister took a rather dramatic dip and now spends the bulk of her time sleeping. In all, this is good, but I do wish Jesus would hurry up and take her home. Now more than ever. She is clearly uncomfortable, even in sleep, and Dad and I are both not sure what to do about that. When she's conscious, we encourage more pain meds, but what do you do when she's asleep? 

Beyond that, I got a random wild hair the other day (and it had been coming and going for a while, but I guess my impulse control is shot to heck right now) to buy organic, stone ground wheat from a small farm. So none of the bad fertilizers and such and back to good grain and yadda yadda. And so last week - week before? I have no concept of time - I gave sourdough a whirl with the new flour and hahahahaha. I did not read up on just how different this acts.

So today, we finally made it through all of the very, very dense first effort and I am trying again - now with much more hydration! - and we'll see what we see.

I might have over hydrated it now? I don't know.

A friend said, "Why not just use a tiny bit of the organic and mix with your regular bread flour" and like...that defeats the whole point? The brain goal for down the road is to buy wheat berries and grind them at home as needed. But yeah, I'm glad right now that I went this intermediate route first because I'm not sure I have it in me to keep going. Healthier is good, but not when it means life is miserable trying to make it work.

Youngest is loving my preoccupation and general inability to do anything because it means his school has been slapdash at best lately. We spent a whole day last week building lego. And I can make a case for motor skills and engineering and so forth if I cared to. The reality is, he's not going to fall behind. It's going to be fine. But yeah, I feel the mom guilt.

Eldest is trucking along with his, which is good. And I am even managing to stay on top of making sure he's doing well (vs phoning it in). So gold star?

Last week, rather than being in Hawaii (which was originally scheduled before everything with my sister went sideways), hubby was home at his boss's insistence. I appreciated that. But he was still in the office every day for 14 hour days. And really at the end of it all, I have realized I am incredibly spoiled and like having him at home. I don't know how we could go back to a full time in the office job at this point. Thankfully it doesn't seem like that's anywhere on the horizon, but yeah. It'd suck.

There was more to say when I started this but it's gone now. So probably super interesting. Or not.

Most likely not.