Sitting in the Shade

So if you're keeping up, you'll recall that at the end of last school year, I stepped down from heading up Awana at our church owing to many factors, but the primary ones being the treatment of youngest by the children's pastor and then subsequent treatment of me after having objected to said treatment of youngest. It had become a considerably hostile environment, and while it was hard to walk away after ten years (and I enjoyed the bulk of those ten years), it was necessary.

And now, it seems as though the new director takes great joy in tossing some shade into her emails whenever she can. (I only get these emails because eldest really wanted to continue doing Awana and I wasn't going to tell him he couldn't. Even though I really REALLY wanted to. Because I knew this would happen, but I'd hoped I could pretend ignorance to it.)

Today's example was a gloating email about how for "the first time ever!" they were sending a team (of three kids and two adults, but I digress) to the regional competitions.

Y'all.

I tried for ten years with varying degrees of fervor to get us to take teams to these things. The first, say, five years, of my tenure as director were very fervent. I focused on the challenge games, and only the challenge games, during game time. I tried to rally up a quiz team. You know what I never got?

Leader involvement.

And I just didn't have the ability to be the only one dragging people to these activities. (If only because it's not a one-person job.) 

After the first big push, I transitioned to a more laid-back, "Hey. This is happening. It'd be so cool if we could participate! Let me know if you want to help!" 

Crickets.

But oh yes, this is the first year they're sending a team.

(And okay, sure, it is. But not for freaking want of trying. It's also the first year any leaders have been willing to get off their duffs and help so that a team was possible. Let's phrase it that way, shall we?)

The second little bit of shade is "Our Grand Prix is returning this year!"

Like yes. Okay that's a true statement. You know how found the new people to head up the GP? Me. I did that. I had it on the calendar for this year BEFORE I decided to step out. 

And the reason we hadn't had one the past two years (when we'd faithfully had one every year prior?) because it had turned into another "The Beth Show." And I could not continue to carry every single responsibility for the club. I begged for help. 

People even said, "What can I do to help?" But when I told them what I needed, it was too much. I guess they wanted to look good by offering and were hoping I'd say, "Oh I've got it." 

But whatever. I am not in charge any longer. And I am glad that for whatever reason people seem to like this new director better. (This is not a surprise. People generally hate me. Sometimes it takes longer for them to figure out, but it's basically inevitable. I realize I'm the problem. I don't know really how to fix it. I mean I do. But when you start making those kinds of plans, other people decide you need an involuntary medical hold.)

I really, really wish I could convince my family that we needed to find a new church.