April Showers

April round these parts is living up to the old joke. I expect to see buckets of Mayflowers (and pilgrims!) any day now.

Since my attention span for reading is zero right now (and I don't know if you have any idea how painful that is for me. But it's excruciating.) curling up with a good book and lazing the dreary days away isn't on the menu.

Which means vacation dreaming is the next best thing.

Hubby might go to Germany for work in June. 

For about two seconds, I was all excited that we'd go as a fam and spend time seeing castles! Then reality started to creep in.

First off, "might go" is a thing. And it's the government. So while he may end up buying tickets (well, his company will buy them), he won't know if he's actually USING said tickets until probably a week, maybe two, prior to take off.

Which would mean it was possible that we'd be scrambling to buy our own ticket for him with a week, maybe two, lead time. 

Or the boys and I would be solo vacationing overseas. 

(Go ahead and laugh. I'll wait. Because the hysterical laughter is totally legit.)

Second, I started to really think about what Germany with my kids would be. Now, it's really possible that the teenager would have a wonderful time once he was there, but the attitude that came on strong at the first mention of maybe going? Yeah, I'm not playing.

And youngest is...well, he's him. And I don't happen to know how tolerant Germans are of ADHD. Thinking of my (German) grandmother, I can imagine the tolerance level would be high. Obviously it would vary by person and maybe we get some leeway for obviously being tourists, but just thinking about it is so exhausting and overwhelming that...yeah no.

Then you throw in that hubby's sister is due in "early June" and it's still even odds about who is ending up raising said baby (just...don't even get me started. I basically have hit the "don't think about it" stage because it's not being handled...you know what? I'm going to stop there. It's just not being handled. It's as if everyone is pretending that nothing is happening and there's nothing to see and ...I don't really believe denial is the best course of action here. Like I said, don't get me started.)

So yeah.

It's rainy. Depression and anxiety are at all time highs. And also pollen. Just for a little icing on the top.