Somedays, I swear.

(Hubby would say I swear most days. I'm working on it.)

Youngest has decided it's time to ramp up on all things puberty. In the case of ADHD, this means anything you thought you knew before no longer applies. And anything you think you might find out also does not apply.

Basically, it's even more chaos around here than usual. (Now with more chaos!)

Lawd help.

We did manage to get one med increased (did I say this already? I think maybe I did.) We're a few days in and I think, fingers crossed, touch wood, all that, we might be turning a corner? Except yesterday, he pulls out the "I don't have friends and it's not fair that elder brother does."

Sometimes, all you can do is close your eyes and put your head on the table.

I mean, he's not wrong. (Ish. He has a few friends, but we don't get to see them much because everyone is busy all of the time around here.) He won't go to Sunday school because of how last year worked out, so he's not making friends there. He does go to youth group and Trail Life, but both of those are in the evening and while we give him a medicine boost prior, he just isn't ever at his best in the evenings. So, unsurprisingly, he is not rolling around in friendships.

So I have spent the past day and a half descending into the madness of, "Should I put him in school?"

I mean, not public. I know that would be a bad plan. (Okay, to be fair, I don't know. Because we haven't done it, so I can't know. However, I have very high suspicions that our overcrowded, understaffed public schools would not be thrilled with the addition of my hyperactive, inattentive, and hugely disruptive child. Especially when he's mostly there because he wants to be around people and not because he has any interest at all in learning things.)

Private school? Maybe.

Pushing aside the gasping intake of breath when looking at tuition for same (because holy wow), would it honestly be any better? Or would the private school teachers (who I'm reasonably sure are paid even worse than the public ones -- that was certainly the case when I worked for a small private school in Georgia in the 90s.) just toss their hands in the air and say, "Nope!"

I just don't know.

And again, academically at least, I know at home is better suited. He's learning. He's in an environment where it's tailored to him and he can get in and get out in short time. But if he really wants those social experiences (although I also worry - and HUGELY worry - that he'd simply become the whipping boy for all the local bullies. Because he is...very bullyable. He's just...innocent and sweet  and honestly not a genius and I know life will kick it out of him at some point, but I would rather it was when he was older and less likely to get life-long scars from it. But maybe that's not a thing.)

Which just serves to send the spiral round again.

This parenting gig isn't for the faint of heart.