Random Weekend Recap

So, as you can see from the posts below, this weekend was filled with fascinating and fantastic things. I mean, how often, really, do you spend over an hour brushing the hair and trimming the toenails of your pets with the side benefit of a pile of dog hair that could probably take over a small country, if it just had arms*, and a collection of dog hair sticking furiously to every inch of your clothing that no amount of lint rolling or spitting on paper towels or any other accepted method of hair removal will remove?

What do you mean you've never tried the spit on a paper towel method of hair removal?! This is lint rolling for those too cheap to spend the money for a lint roller refill but also too cheap to throw out the old lint roller and get a new one when they could just buy a refill...if they weren't so dang expensive. Of course, this is the evolved version. The first version is to try spitting on your fingers and brushing. It doesn't work nearly as well as the paper towel (and no, wetting the paper towel at a sink is not as effective as spitting. As any mother will tell you, spit has magical cleaning properties not posessed by any other substance. In fact, I'm fairly certain that liquid laundry detergent is just a big vat of scented spit.) (I should add that the spit-on-fingers method works better than spit-on-paper towel for dehairing berber carpet. Not sure about any other type of carpet, you might have to experiment, but the berber shreds the paper towel and then you have to spit-finger clean hair AND paper towel shreds. Even the Bounty ones shred. The ones that the commercial shows holding together and being reusable. I'm pretty sure they don't actually sell those because they're too expensive to produce, so they just show them on the ad and hook you into buying the single most expensive kind of paper towel on the off chance you might get a roll of the kind they show on the ads and be able to clean your entire house with just one paper towel.) One final tip: under no circumstances, regardless of how desperate you've become, should you attempt the spit delinting technique with kleenex or toilet paper.

It's fortuitous that the spit-paper towel combo worked because I was seriously considering seeing if Nair would work on clothing.

Tim's weekend was almost as exciting as mine. He spent all of Saturday taking a final for his class. I really mean all day Saturday. I think he started around 8 and turned it at about 10:30 pm. I'm not sure exactly what was going through the professor's mind when he devised a final exam consisting of twenty essay questions, but I'm guessing it was something along the lines of maniacal laughter. Then, because that wasn't enough torture for one weekend - a weekend that began with a 16 hour day at work on Friday - he got to go to work on Sunday just to make his manager feel better about where they are in relation to their big deadline next week. Pretty much they now have nothing to do this week, but by golly, I imagine his manager slept like a baby last night.

So while Tim was at work yesterday, I conquered the world. What? You didn't get the memo about the new regime change? Tsk. (Oh, ok, it was just a game of Civilization IV, but still it was quite fun.) Though no one I know understands why I turn on the "Always Peace" option. Here's the simple explanation: I suck at military strategy. Give me a six course meal to time and prepare with just one oven and four burners and I can plan and coordinate such that nothing gets cold while we're waiting on everything to get prepared, but send an opposing army into my cities and I just want to curl up in the fetal position and wail. (Of course, I do sometimes build war elephants anyway, just because, well, it's kinda cool...and I figure my citizens probably like seeing them around - it's like a little zoo to make them happy. Even if it's a kind of sucky zoo since it only has elephants.) So I turn on always peace. And then I derive great pleasure from refusing to trade something for nothing with people and having them tell me that I'll regret my brash actions. I just laugh and say, "Oh yeah? What're you gonna do, punk? Come on, attack me! Oh, that's right. You can't." I did manage to absorb all of England's cities with my superior culture. And most of Montezuma's domain. (And while he might have tried, he never did get his revenge.) Napolean liked me, but he was on another island, so it didn't really matter one way or another. And the other AIs were all fairly insignificant so I just left them alone, after all, they can have the polar ice caps to eke out a living if they really want them. I'm magnanimous that way.

After that I flipped between the Food network, the Bourne Supremacy, and Die Hard. The plot was essentially a policeman shooting at Jason Bourne who was preparing some kind of interesting looking pasta dish.

When Tim finally got home we went to supper with a friend whose wife is out of town. Afterward Tim and I came home and watched Monk (garbage strike episode. I give it a solid "eh". They really need to bring back Sharona) and then I crawled into bed, unable to fathom more excitement than that while Tim loaded up Half Life and proceeded to kill things for awhile. I'm not sure if he has the option of the spit-paper towel weapon, but he should.

*Pun not intended. But after I re-read it and caught the pun, I wished it had been intended cause it's really amusing.