Fashion Rules

I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination. However, did I miss a memo recently? I have long been under the impression that one stops wearing white (with the exception of white shirts/blouses) somewhere in and around Labor Day - not to resume until Easter or thereabout (some say Memorial Day, but I've always thought that Easter was appropriate as well.) Despite this, there are an inordinate number of women in this office who wear white suits and it seems as if the frequency of their wearing has actually increased since Labor Day rather than decreased.

First, there are very few people who actually look good garbed completely in white. Generally, I would limit these people to Jesus, Angels, brides on their wedding day, and possibly the 12 Apostles if posing for a painting by DaVinci. There may be a few other exceptions and if you happen to fall into that category of exceptions, congratulations.

Second, if you are choosing to wear an entirely white ensemble (regardless of the time of year) shouldn't you endeavor to wear one or more of the following as well?

• Neutral (as in flesh toned) or white undergarments. (Steer far away from black, red, and brightly patterned. We can, in fact, see these through your skirt even though we are desperately trying not to look.)
• A slip. Yes, we know your legs go all the way up - do you really have to display this? Where did modesty go?
• Stockings that are not black. Seriously, you're all in white - at least wear neutral hose, black makes it look like you're suffering from gangrene or some other circulatory problem.
• Neutral (i.e. beige) or white/cream shoes. Black patent leather, though it does go nicely with the black hose, suffers from the same problem as said black hose in making it appear as though the lower half of your body is having issues with blood flow.

Or am I just old fashioned?