So, you may recall the upcoming wedding drama dilemma. Tim and I kicked it around a bit and decided that for our sanity, and the sanity of our child, that I would just skip the rehearsal dinner and hang at the hotel with the kiddo. Then, for the reception, we'd keep him with us til he was done (which I had no issue with being past his bedtime) and then I'd take him up and put him to bed and hang in the room. This was the best solution for a number of reasons, among them (in no particular order):

  • The people of our little family that the Sleepy extended family actually care about seeing are Tim and the kiddo. I'm just along for the ride. 
  • I get overloaded with the extended Sleepy family because they are loud and extroverted and basically everything I'm not and when you couple that with the knowledge of the first, well, it leads to Beth-overload. So a little downtime for me away from everyone wasn't going to be a bad thing.
So, we made the decision and Tim was to call his aunt and let her know. Except, being the proud owner of a Y chromosome, he never actually got around to it. And so I got an email from his aunt letting me know that she'd talked to our assigned sitter's mom and she (the sitter) hadn't heard from us and were we still coming? So I explained what we thought our plan would be given our experiences with the kiddo sleeping (or not) on the cruise and so forth - leaving out the bit about me possibly needing downtime because I am actually tactful enough to realize they don't need to know how badly they all stress me out - and told her I'd get in touch with the sitter right away to let her know. Mea culpa etc.

And then today I get the guilt/you suck email. The one that combines "Oh, but we will miss hanging out with you" (here is where you insert Ice Man coughing BS into his hand) with "I know how hard it is for first time moms, but really, you're not going to irreparably damage your child by leaving him with a sitter and you will be missing out on making memories by not going. But let me tell you, after 22 years as the mother of boys, I wish I'd take more opportunities to do things without them."


What to do? At this point, the only thing I see to do is do what they want. Get the sitter, leave my child, and let the wookie win. I will be a freaked out, rather nervous wreck the whole time, but honestly if I try and stick to my guns, it just cements in their minds that I'm a horrible, anti-social, worthless person who they all wish was not part of the extended family. And my father-in-law can recrow his previous query of whether or not I was "ever going to let him out of your sight?"

Tim doesn't get it. But that's not really a huge surprise - they love him. They (mostly) tolerate me only because of that.

Maybe I can come down with Ebola between now and then.


Rachel said...

It really sucks when people bully you like that. They should respect your decision!

Lynellen said...

Stick to your guns. Stick to your plan. They wont even notice.

Jen said...

Sounds like you have two options:

1. Stick to your plan and the in-laws can go hang.

2. Give in and stress over the whole thing.

I vote #1.

I will say this about the babysitting thing - the first couple of times we left Jesse with our sitter were agonizing. But we realized that he did fine for the couple-three hours that we left him with her. Doesn't lessen your angst about leaving the doodle with a sitter in a hotel room, but I have a feeling they'd be fine ultimately.

But I still say do what your gut says to do.

Gwynne said...

Instill stuck on the fact she's only 14! I agree leaving him with her won't damage him unless, oh, whoops, he gets injured! Frankly I don't like her tone. If it were me I'd go along with their plan but call in sick (you or Joshua) at the last minute.