"We want you to have a good time"

This was the rationalization for the disallowing of children at the rehearsal dinner and reception of Tim's cousin's upcoming wedding (ha - almost put the apostrophe in the wrong place on cousin's that would've made us an 1800s family rather than modern. No, Tim's cousin is not marrying another cousin.) Because I guess you can't have fun with kids.

I know they mean well, I do. And I even understand what they're saying. But - and this is the kicker - if you're going to do this, then you need to make the situation as unstressful as possible. Because as of now, I really think dealing with a melting down child (or simply choosing differently and sending our regrets) would have been much less of a pain and conducive to having a good time. Especially as I'll be lucky to get over my irritation at the whole thing by the reception, and if I can't, then I'm sure not going to have a good time because I'll be too busy being ticked. (Yes, that last part is on me, I get that and am working on it.)

At this point, they've sent me the name of a 14 year old who is "very responsible" and I guess Red Cross certified who is "my" babysitter and I'm to get in touch with her and set things up. Ok...so 14 year olds can't drive - do I have to pick her up? I don't know. The rehearsal dinner is about 40 minutes away from the hotel - and the babysitting for that is to take place at the hotel. Not sure I'm cool with that - so I may just skip that one and stay with the kiddo. (The extended Sleepy family already thinks I'm antisocial, so that really isn't a big deal as far as how they perceive me.)

The reception is at least at the same hotel. So ok, she'll be upstairs. But I'm not sure how long to tell her I need her or when to be there - for either night - because the details are sketchy and contradictory.

Add in to that, realistically, we're going to be spending $60-100 on babysitters (cause apparently $10/an hour is the going rate these days), so I'm kind of ticked that I got them any gift at all. I should've just given them a card and said, "Since you were so concerned about me not enjoying myself with a child in tow, using a babysitter is my gift to you."

There's no way for everyone to win in this situation - and realistically I'm going to be the one sucking it up. But honestly, I wish people would just be honest "We don't want kids here - it's our wedding - suck it up." as opposed to trying to be all backhanded and imply that I don't want my child there but am too stupid to realize it. It just starts the whole thing off on the wrong foot for me. And if you're going to do that, then I think you owe it to the people you've decided need a sitter to take care of all of it - including paying the girls - rather than dumping unnecessary arrangements and costs on your guests that they only find out about after they've agreed to come.