If You Don't Want the Answer, Don't Ask

One of the things that I've been feeling like I need to do a much, much better job at lately is praying purposefully. Which is to say more than the bless our food or good night prayers with the kiddo. But really praying...with time to listen mixed in, because I know that prayer is not meant to be a regurgitation of requests followed by a slammed door and me off to my busy life. But honestly, that's kind of what it's been lately. I'm not proud of it.

And so I've been really trying to take time every day to do this, and one of the things that I've been praying about is what to do about MOPS. Because, as you all know, I have issues with MOPS. It's not meeting any need in my life and really...it's just a big drag. I dread going. And what I really was hoping was that I'd hear very clearly that it was ok for me to be done at the end of the year.

Unfortunately, what I think I'm actually hearing is that this is a place where God wants me to minister. That no, I'm not going to get anything out of it myself. But that since I am in a place that I see the other side of marriage and kids that the women in my MOPS group just don't seem to see (which is to say that yes, sometimes there are frustrations, but gosh on the whole they're awesome), that I need to be there to share those thoughts and try and help.

On the one hand, that's really not what I wanted to hear. On the other hand, it's nice to be making baby steps back to a conversational relationship with God and to remember that He does actually speak, it's just up to me to hear.

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