I Absolutely Think This Post Is About Me*

It came to my attention a few weeks ago that my 20th high school reunion is on the horizon. My first response was, "What? Not possible. After all, I'm only 25." Then I had to remember that, in fact, I am not 25 but considerably older than that and, yes, I have officially been out of high school for 20 years. My second response was: crap.

I did not go to our 10 year reunion. I'm not even sure we had a 15 year reunion, so obviously didn't attend if there was one. And now...now I think I might just like to go, except for the whole I-looked-awesome-in-high-school-and-now-look-exactly-the-opposite-of-awesome thing. I'd try to take comfort in the idea that a lot of my classmates have all put on the pounds as well, except, looking at the photos of them on facebook...not so much.

See, I didn't have a ton of friends in high school. I was definitely part of the weird crowd (which is saying something when you go to a school that sucks the weird people out of the high schools in the three surrounding counties and busses  them in). I also tended to have more friends that were either the year ahead or behind me. So I'm not really sure why I am even tempted to go to the 20th reunion. Before Facebook, I kept up with the few people who mattered. Now, with Facebook, I am at least getting a peek into the lives of several other acquaintances, and really, most of my curiosity is assuaged.

But I'm also wondering if your 20th reunion is kind of like prom: if you don't go, you'll end up regretting it somewhere down the line. (That said, I went to prom. Given the experience, I'm not sure I would regret not having gone. Though I guess having the information to say that is better than wondering about it.)

Anyway, they sent out a survey to everyone asking for votes on a reunion date. I'm hoping everyone else also chose the one that coincides with Homecoming - cause that gives me a much better chance of at least not being roughly equivalent in size to an orca when the date rolls around. (Honestly, I'll settle for walrus sized. That'll be less embarrassing. I know I won't ever get back to the size 6/8 I wore back then, and I'm really ok with that. I'd just prefer to be down on the lower end of the double digits.)

What amuses me most is that in 99% of my life, I am incredibly intrinsically motivated. But with weight loss, it seems to be only extrinsic motivation that will actually override the joy of something sweet or bready melting across my tongue. (Cause with my body, the only way weight goes away is to get rid of carbs...and I love carbs.) That said, after a little bit of realistic figuring, I can, if I am diligent, be at a non-embarrassing weight by the later date. This is encouraging (because really there's nothing worse than realizing you finally have something that will continue to motivate you to lose weight but it's so close that there's no realistic way to actually meet that goal). I'm already down 2 pounds (yeah, I know, big woo, but hey, they add up.) 

Vanity? Absolutely.
(*it's a riff on a song. You'll figure it out.)