The Things You Take For Granted

I will be the first to admit that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my teeth. I floss them daily (you only have to floss the ones you want to keep), I brush them two or three times a day (I do shirk on the lunch brushing, I admit, but I try!), and I go to the dentist twice a year. Beyond that, unless I get something stuck in them, I really don't give them a passing thought. Until this week.

Watching Joshua cut his first tooth and being virtually incapable of doing anything beyond administering Tylenol and cuddles, has had me contemplating teeth more than is perhaps healthy...because right now, teeth - or more accurately, this single lower front tooth - are holding our household hostage. I suspect that the tooth, who I will henceforth name Jerome, is sitting there in his little hiding place just below the gum level basking in the light that comes in through his newly acquired skylight. Further, I suspect that he has conversations with himself that go something along these lines:

"Ahhh..." wiggle-wiggle, "Nothing like a little bit of ceiling space. Maybe I can enlarge that skylight a little and have even more space. And really, what better time to do construction than 3 am?"

"Ack. What is that pink drippy stuff that's leaking in through the skylight. Hmm, actually...it's kind of soothing. Maybe I'll just drift off to sleep for a while."

"*snork* Huh? What? What time is it? How long was I out? Not good, not good at all! Kick on the furnace, it's chilly in here, and let's see what we can do about that skylight opening enlargement project!"

"What. Is. That. Noise? Whoever's in charge of this condo association needs to do something about what seems to be constant screaming or I'm gonna call the cops!"

"Seriously. The screaming needs to stop, I'm working on a home improvement project here."

"Gah, raining again. And why, I wonder, is the rain around here so viscous? It's like drool. Nasty."

Well, you get the idea. Jerome, buddy. Let me just say that it gives me great pleasure to know that your tenure is going to be limited to a few years. Because honestly? You're a pain. Not just to Joshua, but to his mommy as well. Because this whole not sleeping thing that you've instituted? It's making me cranky.